How to start the new year off right
When it comes to New Years, what is the most likely consequence of setting unrealistic goals? It can be a very exciting time of the year! You get to think of what you want to become for the next year, set goals for yourself and possibilities are endless! Even though many of us fail at our resolutions within the first month, we are so naïve into thinking that this year, well, it will be different!
Is it ever?
But New Years is the perfect time for starting over. It gives us permission to forgive ourselves from our stupid mistakes of last twelve months and imagine our lives more full and exciting.
Although it is a common practice to set New Year’s resolutions, if not done with realistic goals in mind, it quickly becomes a disheartening disaster!
Living the elegant woman lifestyle, I hate the idea of planning out your new year then being disappointed to see that your goal could never be reached (at least at that point in your life).
Then you give up on trying to better yourself and polish off a bag of chips!
I refuse to let that happen!
I truly want you to live your life with as much poise, happiness, and fulfillment as humanly possible. Let’s begin the new year with a huge jump start!
Realistic New Year’s Resolutions
First, in order to make realistic new year’s resolutions, you need to truly know thyself!
“If we all did the things we are really capable of doing, we would literally astound ourselves.” – Edison
What are you truly capable of?
Can you start that business that you’ve wanted to?
How much extra time can you dedicate to your resolution?
Does this seem like something attainable or are you reaching for the stars (not always a bad thing though!)?
There are a list of questions that you need to ask yourself and only you really know if you can do it!
There will be a lot of nay-sayers and that is typical, not everyone will be your biggest cheerleader. These people might be the ones closest to you, and when they put you down or discourage you, it isn’t because they are trying to be rude, but sometimes they can’t help it. For some, when others succeed, it makes them feel worse about themselves, so there only means of dealing with it is insulting.
Never take anything personally.
If you keep in mind that you are an elegant woman, you can do anything that you want, what you think about yourself really matters!
What is the most likely consequence of setting unrealistic goals?
The most likely consequence of setting unrealistic goals is the fact that you will put yourself in a rut and be stuck in a perpetual state of failing.
Unrealistic goals are just that. Not realistic in your life – at this moment!
But that doesn’t mean it won’t ever happen, it just will take a bit more planning and reaching smaller goals first!
HOW TO MAKE YOUR GOALS REALISTIC
An elegant woman understands that wonderful things take time – be patient for your goals.
All good things always take time.
It’s not just a cliché to be annoying, it’s a real thing!
This is a lesson I am learning as I grow older. I know that we all want things now, fast, and instant. But with anything that is truly life changing – it takes slow incremental changes.
Sounds absolutely terrible.
No one wants to wait, but it’s the very wait that makes everything so much sweeter! It really is the secret to lasting a lifetime.
When making a goal or a new year’s resolution, you need to factor in the time that it will take. If it takes a long time, it doesn’t mean you fail or that it is not meant for you – but that it will most likely stick!
An elegant woman understands habits don’t change overnight — so don’t expect miracles!
This is the least fun one.
Mainly because when we want to change something, we wish that it could happen over night and then we are the person we want to become! But since good things take time, it never happens but that shouldn’t be a bad thing!
Instant gratification has taken over our society.
So many of us fall for it, and it’s simply because it feels good. It is an amazing sensation to see the fruits of your labor come into fruition so quickly – but the unfortunate reality of this is that it never lasts.
The weight always gets put back on (and even more).
The house gets cluttered and messy again, your habits start to disappear and you will go back to your old ways.
Even if you are seeing wonderful results – it’s really hard to remain.
Because humans thrive on gradual changes. The keyword is gradual!
When there is a gradual swing, nothing seems impossible, and then you start to see little wins – which is HUGE for your confidence! The idea here is you can only climb a mountain one step at a time is a nice visual.
The elegant woman, when making a new year’s resolution or any goal for that matter, she will take into account the amount of effort that it will take.
It’s about being truly realistic, and not fooling yourself.
An elegant woman doesn’t let her emotions get the best of her – don’t be unrealistic!
Sounds easy enough?!
But it can be so difficult to feel that you are failing — and STILL be okay with it.
Not only okay, but good.
The elegant woman can see the bigger picture, she can stand back far enough to see that even though it looks bad now, in the near future it will get better! She doesn’t get discouraged and gives up.
The elegant woman doesn’t stress too much
It can be really easy to get overwhelmed and become obsessed with changing your life. There are so many popular videos and articles about overhauling your life, but unfortunately I’ve seen it do the complete opposite of what it was intended. The elegant woman tries to remain as calm as possible!
Speaking from experience, I end up making goals, some not as elegant (meaning they weren’t realistic, so I suffered) and I ended up losing my composure and elegance because I couldn’t handle the demand that I was putting on myself.
I needed to get real with myself and what I could handle. I stopped stressing and lowered my expectations to something more reasonable.
This has helped tremendously with my stress and guilt of wishing I was doing more.
The elegant woman sees what she can handle – then takes one thing away
You might be thinking that you can handle what you have planned. That you have the time, the money, even the expertise – but there is one thing that so often gets overlooked, that real life always comes and gets in the way.
Especially when you need it to cooperate the most!
Someone gets sick and needs mom, the dinner was burnt and now you need to order out.
Be easy on yourself and one of the biggest favors you can give yourself is to not dump too many expectations and responsibilities on your plate!
This might be the most important one for an elegant woman to make THIS new year’s resolution!
Why are unrealistic goals bad?
For the most obvious reasons, they will start to make you feel like you are doing terrible.
They set you up for failure, which is never a good way to start out bettering yourself!
Unrealistic goals put you on a path for feeling like you are drowning and can’t keep up, which then has the effect to spoil everything around you!
Keep it simple, keep it realistic and you WILL get more done.
Who knows, maybe that “unrealistic goal” won’t be so unrealistic if you work at it slowly and surely!
What to do when making New Year’s Resolutions
1) Know who YOU truly are
It can be so easy to get wrapped up in what others are doing this time of year. With endless amounts of YouTube videos and blog posts about how productive they will be the new year – it starts to make you feel a little overwhelmed and that you possibly could never attain that level of efficiency.
First, they might or might not be doing that well, remember, they are real people with real lives and sometimes we say things even though we know that we won’t do them.
But your life looks different then everyone else’s!
You might have work and children and a house, maybe it’s just you, or maybe your house is overrun with puppies.
Every one has a different story, so when you watch these videos for “inspiration”, please remember that it is for inspiration and not duplication.
You have other hobbies and passions, allow them to flourish while being inspired!
2) Only allow yourself one – two (maybe three) goals for the entire year… that is it!
Slow and steady wins the race.
Every year you can add one more goal, so in a few years, you will have collected (and perfected) a few habits or goals in your life!
A lot of woman will make a huge list of everything they want to change about themselves (myself included!) and then your productivity level diminishes greatly! You are hindering yourself before you start!
One little change here and there, will make a bigger impact than a slew of changes that never follow through!
3) Accept that you will make mistakes and temporarily fail — but if it is something you are passionate about, you will succeed
That’s just how it goes.
With a change in life, there will be moments where you are doing everything right and feel amazing, then the very next day you will feel like you can’t do anything right! It can become an emotional roller coaster, but think of the big picture.
Try to not look at your resolution as an every day goal, but a week. It’s easier to correct yourself only 52 times a year than 365! That doesn’t mean that you only have to be accountable for one day, but rather if at the end of the week you feel that you came out ahead – then you’ve succeeded!
What will happen is that you will start seeing more successes than fails during the week! You can keep them logged in a journal or mentally.
It will get easier and easier, but you will have to have perseverance! And it will be all worth it!
4) Put one foot in front of the other
In other words, take your sweet time!
Instant transformations are a nice thought, but they NEVER stick.
Just keep focusing on achieving your little goals and then you will eventually get there and you will be surprised because it didn’t hurt as much as you thought!
5) Plan, but don’t spend all day planning
When you read how some people will map out their days, weeks, months you feel the need to do the same as well or else you won’t succeed. This does work, especially for those Type A personalities that just need everything written down and organized to the second.
However, this can be paralyzing for most.
I take this one from experience. There were (and to be honest, still are — I struggle with this) times when I wanted to reach a goal or get something done and I would take a day I had quite a bit of time and make a list, then make a more detailed list, then perhaps a checklist and after that a calendar making sure to get every single thing I wanted to accomplish.
I thought this was the way to productivity!
I would get excited and this feeling of happiness would rush over me so I would spend a bit more time jotting down everything I wanted to get done is such a short time period. After a while, I would look at the time and realize for three hours I was too busy making lists, and writing notes that I COULD have spent doing what I wanted to do.
I essentially wasted my time.
Nothing got done, the to-do lists weren’t realistic because I expected too much of myself in a short period of time and then the feelings of guilt and laziness were there.
So, now I just have a little paper and write down the big thing that I want to do and just work at it.
A little each day, but as long as I touch it some how every day, it will eventually get done and I don’t get the overwhelming sense of laziness.
I actually get more work done this way then being overly organized.
6) Don’t obsess over your goals
YOU are not your goals.
Let me repeat, your worth is not tied to how much you get accomplished.
Sure, it is nice to get a lot done, so you don’t feel that you are wasting your time, but what is more important that you keep a high value opinion of yourself and productivity will just come from that. I find that if you try to make every moment elegant then your productivity level will rise.
At the beginning of the year you will write down your thoughts and resolutions, don’t become fixated on them. They are there to strive towards but not let it consume who you are in the mean time.
With each goal that you want to do (and remember, it’s only a few), write down five things that you love about yourself and that you are proud of. This will help to not let you tie up your worth with your goals and you will realize how wonderful you already are!
7) Make Every Moment Elegant
This one is my favorite, and how I like to try to live my life! [[Not to mention it’s always my New Year’s Resolution!]]
By focusing on every moment of my day and trying to make it my best, either dressing my best, smelling my best, cleaning my best, regardless, trying to make every moment of each day as elegant and poised as I can, I inherently get done my goals.
Not because my goals are “being elegant” but because I want to keep working towards something, which happens to be my goals. Focusing on elegance helps me to not be lazy and sit in front of the computer and scroll through Facebook.
Living elegantly has helped me be productive, enjoy my days, do my best, and made every moment something special!
Did you know that: A study found 46% of participants who made common New Year’s resolutions (e.g. weight loss, exercise programs, quitting smoking) were likely to succeed, over ten times as among those deciding to make life changes at other times of the year. – So this time of looks promising!
Which is the most important step in the process of setting goals?
The most important step, the one that you cannot skip would be to imagine it.
Not planning it all out, or writing out an action plan. It’s purely imagining it.
And not that simple, “I can see myself in a yacht” kind of imagining. But one that you can see it, feel it, and sense how it would be to reach that goal. Visualizing it helps to see it come true and also will keep up the motivation when things are taking longer than you presumed.
Once an Action Plan is in Place, it Should not be Changed.
Once you have created an action plan, one that you will work towards throughout the whole year, you should not change it.
Perhaps it might need a little tweaking here and there, but if this is something that you’ve always wanted – then work towards it!
We usually change it because we are afraid of failing. We change it because we think that we want to, but in reality, we had to because it didn’t look like it was happening.
It also depends on how good your action plan, you might need to never tweak it – but do stay flexible and keep in mind that your goal should remain fluid.
How do you achieve unrealistic goals?
Even if you can’t possibly tear yourself away from thinking you can do this, it might need a longer time frame.
It’s nice to keep a list of the unrealistic goals that you still would like to see in your life and make sure that you know what’s on the list. That way, every year when you accomplish more and more in your life, possibly that goal doesn’t seem like a stretch, but maybe more work instead.
Most things in life are connected, and there are always ways that things can surprise you!
Another way to achieve the unrealistic goal is to never forget about it, but don’t spend time obsessing over it either.
See it, imagine it, write it down, and keep it on the back burner. Who knows, maybe that one job you got as a dishwasher will help you make your goal as a writer and coming out with the next murder mysteries!
Never lose sight.
Short-term goals can be set to help achieve specific long-term goals.
Rome wasn’t built in a day.
This overused and sometimes ignored cliché really is true.
You can’t get everything done in a short period. Nothing that really is too big anyways, and you shouldn’t see this as a negative!
This is the permission to be okay with taking your time. To seeing that if you’re not seeing the results that you imagined, that it’s perfectly fine — even normal!
It’s best to keep the short-term goals to no more than seven, because planning out too many can really be daunting and make you want to quit before you even started!
Don’t think too far into the future, imagine your goal but don’t necessarily look at the details – they always seem to work themselves out. It can be tempting to try and over organize but the fatigue that it will create will be hard to get that spark of passion back.
Break down the year into months and have a few goals that you want to achieve in that month, then when you can check them off you feel even better!
New Years Resolution Worksheet
This new years resolution worksheet will help when making some resolutions that you can actually try to keep!
This beautiful little print out can help you keep your new year’s resolutions looking good, which will help to make this time more enjoyable.
Of course, you don’t need to print these out, you can do it in your own little notebook – but I just love to give you ladies options to what you can do!
The most important part is to write it down! That is the best way to remain accountable to yourself and what you would like to become this year!