When to Lose a Friendship
When you go through your life, such as spring cleaning, you will see that friends sometimes need to go. These friends are usually the toxic kind. The ones that drag you down and make you feel guilty or not your best.
Most of the time, it won’t be an easy process — but it is one that can improve your life! It will hurt at first then you’ll feel the effects a little later.
It’s time to lose a friendship when all they do is keep you down. They prevent you from flourishing into what you want to be. Friends aren’t true friends when they don’t stand in corner.
This happens often when you are moving from one stage in life to another. Most of us went through this going from grade school to high school. You might keep a couple friends, but the core group changes.
Then from high school to university or college, it changes again. It’s only natural.
But after a certain time, we feel deeply connected to them. Whether they are good or bad, it is irrelevant. The growth stops and we become complacent.
Those kind of friendships need to be thought out. The ones that make you second guess yourself on a daily basis. Those friendships need to be edited.
When to say Good Bye
This isn’t to be taken lightly. Especially if the relationship has lasted throughout many years. But the ones that make you feel less of a person then that’s not right. You don’t need to necessarily leave them forever, but they can be demoted to a sense.
Having many acquaintances is normal. When you work with many people and just see them on a regular basis, it’s wonderful to be able to go out with them and enjoy each other’s presence. However, it doesn’t mean you have to share anything personal with them. And that’s exactly what I’m referring to here.
It’s about being strict on who you let in your life. Not just the “hi-bye” friends but the ones that you might tell your true feelings.
It isn’t good bye forever, but maybe if the friendship is very one-sided, meaning you are always giving with no return, then it should be edited.
You can just slowly separate yourself from them, not completely, but just ever so slightly that it does so in a natural way. This prevents any headaches and frustrations.
The most important thing in this whole situation is communication. If the friend or family member isn’t willing to communicate, it’s because they like that they can take advantage of you. That’s not alright.
You Need to Set Boundaries
When a friendship is born, or you get older with your family, you are constantly setting boundaries. Whether you know it or not, you are forming them. This tells others what you will do or not do for them or yourself.
There’s a fine line between being generous and allowing people to walk all over you.
Most likely in your life will experience both sides because if you are nice, others see it as an opportunity – but you learn from it.
You see how these people are and you avoid the next people with similar characteristics.
If you set your limits towards the beginning of the friendship, then it is the expectation and it will most likely be met. If it’s done later then it can be harder to implement. But those that don’t respect it need to be demoted.
Toxic friends might not seem that bad, but they are. That’s why they are so terrible. They will eat away at your confidence and make you feel worse about yourself.
You don’t need to see them gone forever, but you do need to separate yourself from them and put your guard up when you are with them.
Frequently Asked Questions – Friendships
How do you deal with losing a friendship?
Realize it happened for a reason.
It can be sad, but if you both are naturally drifting away, then it’s easier. There is no hard feelings and when you do see each other it’s pleasant.
It’s okay to be sad, but it all depends why you are a losing a friendship. Sometimes you might even feel better!
What are the signs of a friendship ending?
Some signs is when you are rarely making time to see each other. It’s understandable that if a friend moves away or you are now very occupied with life , you don’t have time to see each other like before. But if you are seeing people and willingly not wanting to see them, that is a big sign it’s over.
Again, communication is key. It could be a misunderstanding that goes too far.
What does it mean when you start losing friends?
This happens when people go through different stages of their lives. It is completely normal and natural and part of growing up. If you are starting to see a mass exodus of friends though, that might be saying something about you.
The best thing you can do in this case is to just communicate frankly with them. But do so as nicely as possible. But when my husband and I grew up and had were working so much and now with a family, we lost a lot of our friends.
It’s just a natural part. People drift away.
Can a friendship be saved?
Of course it can be, but it needs to be both sides that see it that way. Usually after talking it out and seeing what were the problems it can be helpful. Sometimes people don’t see how they are being bad friends.
What really matters is the actions. If someone is hurting you and they say they will stop, they need to stop in all the sense of the word. Talk is cheap.
Friendships could also go in waves. Meaning depending on what is going on in their life, they might not be able to stop what they are doing and see you (which can happen to you too). But as long as the respect and love is there, then that shouldn’t matter.
How do you know if a friendship is worth keeping?
It’s worth keeping if they make you feel like a better person.
Spring Clean Your Life by Choosing Good Friends
Comb through your friends and see who helps you and who hinders you.
It’s really important to always choose good friends. I’ve heard that you are a sum of the 5 friends you see often, and that puts things into perspective.
Choose good friends. The ones that you want to be more like and grow into.
Spring Clean Your Life Series:
Course for setting goals! Setting New Year’s Resolutions – and Actually Doing Them– great for any time of the year and wanting to achieve goals to make them your reality
Free eBook to get started! Beginner’s Guide to Elegance– my FREE introductory eBook to help you live your best life
Join the Facebook group – Elegant Living for Elegant Women– a community for women who enjoy elegant living to ask questions, share stories and learn new ways that you can add elegance to your day and every weekday morning there is an Elegant Lesson video!
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I hope you have been enjoying this series so far! I have been loving my spring cleaning journey and hope you have too! Bettering yourself truly makes all the difference to living the life you want.
Talk to you tomorrow,