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How to Speak Eloquently and Sound like an Elegant Woman

How to Speak Eloquently and Articulately

Articulating yourself on a daily basis doesn’t need to be over complicated or stressful. Speaking like an elegant woman means knowing how to speak eloquently and carefully watch how you say things, what you say in different circumstances (not to mention who is around you) and also why you say it. Do you speak just to hear yourself talk?

Is what you’re saying helpful in the situation or just rude?

Always remember the context of how you sound.

You don’t want to know only how to sound smart, but you want to be able to articulate yourself in a way that makes you come across as sensitive, endearing, and just an eloquent and elegant woman.

Learning how to speak more intelligently and how to speak more eloquently and be more articulate with your speech.

What makes someone Eloquent?

Being eloquent is a characteristic of an elegant woman.

It is in the way she carries herself in all situations. The way she moves walks, talks, comes across in her daily life. Being eloquent means being graceful in even the most stressful of situations. Or even something as simple as not just resorting to yelling at your children.

Losing control over your emotions is not ideal and really isn’t classy. Reacting to rude people without getting sucked into their anger is also the best way to fight their hostility.

Some good things about learning how to speak eloquently is although you are not born with it, it is attainable by anyone who deeply wants it. It can be practiced over and over again until it is perfected. Each moment during your day can be used as a potential practice

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How to Speak More Eloquently


  1. Build your vocabulary in your everyday speech

One of the best ways to increase your vocab is to include more reading into your day. By reading a variety of books you see how words are used, mostly expressions and how they are spelt.

It also helps to freshen up your memory of words and common sayings that you don’t use very much

If reading isn’t  your cup of tea, you can try watching intellectual movies, listening to highly educational podcasts, or enjoy something that can teach you something is close enough to increasing your vocabulary. Do something to build yourself up.

The point of this is not sound like you are better than someone else.

You are not learning new words to make yourself sound smarter. No.

Instead it is to prepare you if someone does say something that you can now understand. It is also to not dumb yourself down just to fit in to our society.


How can I speak more intelligently? 

To make this easy, having a better vocabulary usually signifies a higher intelligence. However, trying to insert big words needlessly will not only make you look condescending but can have the opposite effect and make you look more dumb. 


Since some of these words are not used in many daily conversations, there is a chance that you are using it incorrectly. If you want to speak more intelligently, then it is best to remember that WHAT you are saying is more important than what words you choose. 

Always add more depth to the conversation, choose topics that will cause you to think about what really matters in life. 


  • find new words to use everyday and use them
  • try to find the perfect time to use them, without sounding condescending
  • take opportunities to learn something new and if need be, write them down for better memorization 


2. Stop talking with slang/curse words and learn how articulating yourself is easier


When learning how to speak eloquently and articulately, curse words should be avoided.

Foul language can be used for a few different reasons. One for extra adjectives. It helps to describe anything. Another reason to use it to is to express anger or happiness, again, an adjective. Even using it as a noun to replace a name of something works too. But what it really does is show a lack of knowledge. 

Perhaps this is an over generalization, but regardless it’s the truth. 

People will not take you seriously if you are constantly throwing around slang and swear words. Again, another way to just dumb yourself down.

It looks very immature and many people will dismiss you as someone credible, and being elegant couldn’t be further away.

Using slang is also frowned upon because many people don’t always know what they mean or its context.

Slang words can go out of style (ie: take a chill pill or my bad), so like everything else I stand for, be timeless and that way you’ll never sound outdated!

There are always eloquent and beautiful words to describe anything, where slang or swear words are not necessary. It takes a very strong woman to be able to resist herself from screaming profanity in anger or frustration. Be elegant by speaking softly, with words that you can find in a dictionary and show restraint by not allowing your emotions to speak for yourself.

What are signs of maturity?

It’s a common misconception that only the younger generation have a “potty mouth”. Sadly, today it is becoming more and more acceptable to swear and speak in unflattering ways. 

It is also common that people in our society want to be perceived as youthful. However, using foul language is never the way you want people to remember you for. It is not correct that if someone speaks with slang, they are not seen as “hip”, but rather uneducated, rough, or not lady like. 

Being mature and showing signs of maturity is what elegance and poise is about. You don’t want to be the perpetual teenager, that would get exhausting. 

One sign of maturity is choosing to speak with purpose and avoiding anything unflattering. You wouldn’t wear something you thought was ugly, so then don’t do the same with your language. 


    • find substitute of swear words
      • bust balls  = bust chops
      • son of a b* = son of a gun …son of a…(and not finish)
      • i think you get my point
    • don’t find the need to use slang words and use more intelligent words
      • instead of dis, use insult
      • instead of ain’t or reckon use am not and I believe
        how to sound like a classy woman

3. Think before you speak, and finish your thought


It’s quite difficult to sound elegant and poised when you’re continuously babbling or filling the silent thought with “ummm’s and uugghhhh’s”.

To prevent this from happening to you, before you speak, try to quickly plan out what you’re going to say and where you’re going with your thought. The more you practice this, the easier and more natural it will become.

When you pause and think before you speak you won’t pause for that long (although it may seem like forever sometimes). The more articulate you sound, the better you will come across to people. Fumbling over your words and reaching for thoughts mid-sentence is not elegant and certainly will affect your air of mystery. 

The other important part of this is to fully and articulately finish your thought. Make sure that when you are finished speaking (unless you were interrupted), that what you said makes sense. Again, what decreases your elegance is just talking to hear your voice. Nothing you say will add any value to the conversation and will leave people more confused. 

It’s imperative that you fully complete your sentence with a thought that will contribute well.  


Habits that make you sound smarter

Besides finishing your sentences and concluding your thoughts, there are physical changes that you can implement that can improve speaking and make you sound smarter. These habits are working from the outside in, where as the rest of this post is working from the inside out. 

i) Work on your posture – stand straight and with purpose, the act of slumping already will tell everyone that you are not completely confident in what you are saying. 

ii) Don’t move too much – by being calm in your demeanor will help you appear more in control. 

iii) Be endearing – keep your eye contact, have your reassuring head movements, keep the hand gestures genuine and truly try your hardest to be as real with anyone as possible. 

iv) Keep your hands together – many problems with speaking or listening is that you don’t know what to do with your hands, keep them gently holding each other on your lap or in front of your chest. It will make you appear more friendly rather than stand-off-ish (such as hands on hips or hands moving around aimlessly.) 

If you are interested in how some habits will increase your quality of life, check out Forbes top 10 habits! 


  • try to think of exactly how you will answer a question or say what you’re going to say, and if it still makes sense or sounds just as good the first time you thought it. 
  • think of exactly what you want to say, and then think of how you want to word it…then speak, don’t just rush it out. 
  • In a conversation, before you say something, ask yourself a few questions…                    
    • “Is what I am going to say,  going to add anything worthwhile to the conversation?”
    • “Will I regret saying this after I say it?”                    
    • “Can what I am about to say get misconstrued or taken out of context?”                   
    • “If this gets repeated, will it come to hurt me later?”

      If you answered yes to any of these, then the safest route is to either reword, or rethink of what you’re going to say.

      Again, sometimes silence really is the best answer.

4. Slow down and enunciate


Have you ever been in a conversation with someone and they talk so fast that you’re having a hard time keeping up with them? 

Or perhaps they have an accent which is harder for your ear to understand that you feel rude having to ask them to repeat themselves? 

Speaking fast and not properly enunciating is one way to make other people feel uncomfortable in situations. It gets awfully annoying to ask someone to repeat themselves so asking someone to do it a couple times in a few minutes makes the listener feel rude and potentially they want to get out of the conversation, regardless of how pleasant the speaker is. 

For most people, slowing down is simply a matter of calming down your excitement, remember to breathe before answering or replying and trying to be in the moment without feeling like rushing through it. 

Enunciation is not only important to come across as articulate and knowledgeable, not to mention a wonderful speaker, but shows respect. Respect for the person you are speaking with, it shows that you have the time for them and you care what you have to say to them. Without saying it directly, you care about them and you are interested in having a conversation with them, regardless of how long or short. 

Changing how you speak

It’s not easy to change everything all at once, but to begin the transformation, begin with slowing down. By taking a deep and conscious breath before speaking, you will already feel a bit calmer, which means you will start to slow down. 

You will fail many times before you get better because speaking is just another indicator of your identity. Just like your fingerprints, you have a different way to talking then anyone else. You can’t expect any sudden and lasting changes, but to understand why you speak the way you do can help you change how you speak. 

Just take it one conversation at a time and never be discouraged by failure. 

“Failure is the condiment that gives success its flavor.”
― Truman Capote


  • calm down by slowing your breathing
  • remind yourself to relax and to slow down everything (even movements)
  • be more in the moment and slowly savor it
  • think of how crazy you must look when you are talking so fast and no one can understand, remember it’s rude to speak so fast that it makes others uncomfortable. 
  • if you’re unsure if you talk fast or slur, tape yourself while you talk and see where you need to improve
  • clear your mouth of any debris, whether that is saliva, water or food – this will help to fully and easily pronounce everything properly


5. Watch your tone. Don’t be shrill.


Audrey Hepburn tried her hardest not to sound so high pitched because it was thought to be off-putting to men. Whether that statement was really true shows how the tone of your voice can really impact the enjoyment of the listener. 

This may not be able to be resolved without help, and not everyone has this problem. 

First you either know that you need to watch your voice or you can find this out by simply asking someone or recording your own voice. Listening to your recorded voice is always weird, but that is how you sound so try to get past it and see how you can improve. 

If you listened to your voice or someone told you (lovingly) that your tone is too high, now comes the harder work. 

This is when it is more important to be in the present, to be fully aware of your moment. When you begin to speak, you should be making sure to correct your voice tone and how you say it. It does take more practice then most other ways of speaking only because it could mean to change your voice. 

Until it comes more natural, then it will be a little struggle. But when you are able to master it, your tone will become how you want it to be without much effort. It is not something to be ashamed of, women have higher voices, but by not allowing them to shriek or be shrill, will always be more pleasant. 

If you don’t know where to begin, the biggest area of improvement is when you get excited. Sometimes, getting excited you might forget that you need to tend to your tone.  


How to speak better in public?

Fear of speaking in front of others takes the cake for the most feared in society. Rightfully so, it’s terrifying because if you make a mistake think of how many people will laugh at you! 

But it doesn’t need to be paralyzing. 

By adapting these tips to help you speak eloquently, you will gain the confidence needed to talk without fear. But for some who truly despise it, the most important factor to remember is that you are who you are. If you are an elegant woman, who might fumble with her words, but by regaining your composure and maintaining your air of mystery, then people instead of laughing will be mesmerized by your poise and elegance. 

Never be afraid, because no one looks at you wishing you make a mistake.


  • every time you speak remember to lower your pitch, don’t be discouraged when you fail because for many people this will take much more time to perfect. 
  • if you have certain sayings that you say higher or when you know that you are usually speaking in a higher tone, be more attentive then and remind yourself to slow down and speak in a lower tone.


6. Watch your volume.


How many times have you been blown away with someone speaking too loudly, or perhaps you try your hardest to listen to someone who seems to be whispering. Both make for a very uncomfortable exchange. This is where it is important to be able to read people and their signs. 


The same goes for when on the cell phone. It is no one’s business about what goes on in your life or your friend’s. Always be respectful of others who are around you and of course of the person you are speaking to. 


It really takes away from your air of mystery and your charm when you are being so loud it attracts attention, and not the good kind either. Always be considerate of the people around you and use the proper volume that you find acceptable.


A good rule of thumb is to match the other people around you. If it is a loud area, then you can speak louder and same goes if it is quieter. 


How to speak eloquently book

Sometimes, a more indepth book will help to achieve your goal of speaking eloquently and articulately.

Pitch Perfect is just that book. The author Bill McGowan has helped celebrities like Kelly Clarkson improve her speech. With years of working in the television business and creating his own coaching business to help people speak better and more eloquently, this book has helped many people. 


  • this is very simple, just quiet down… if you must pretend that you need to whisper all the time until you can find the perfect volume to speak in
  • when you are out in public, remind yourself that you do not want others to hear you, and then you will stop talking loudly to others (it is considered rude to have others listen to you when it isn’t warranted)
  • speak to the person you are wanting to speak with when they come closer or at least in a reasonable space

7. Do you have a rhythm when you speak?


You know how alluring different accents can be, when you just can’t stop listening to someone who has a distinguished accent. The same goes for which rhythm you have speaking. It’s how you connect the words together and not that you are singing but it leaves people wanting to hear more. 

Many people on radio have this and mastered it because if they sounded terrible, then they would be out of a job. Imagine what other people are hearing when you are speaking. 

You most likely already have one, most people do. But it is a matter of perfecting it. Start by listening to how other people talk, whether they are on the radio, the television, or just people you talk to on a regular basis. 

The good storytellers is not only on the subject matter, but just like many things, it is purely the execution. How was it said? Was the enunciation on the right word? But on the other hand, you know the people that are very monotone and can be hard to maintain focus and listen. 

Let this be something that people remember about you. Not only do you sound elegant, but by having something different, something that makes you memorable will enhance your beauty and air of mystery even more!


How do you become more articulate in everyday speech?

Not only practicing, but practicing properly. 

Since you know that practice makes perfect, it is imperative that you practice the correct way to be more articulate. Try your hardest to dissect every conversation and see how you can be better. Speak clearly every single time you open your mouth. Make sure to always speak with intention and purpose. 

Talk with a genuine voice and be who you are, don’t change your attitude to being more “stuffy” or pretentious thinking that will make you look more eloquent and sound articulate or smart. 

Practice making others feel better about themselves with your speech. That’s a good start. 


  • pay attention to how you speak, listen to how you say a sentence, once you notice it you can try to work on it and make it more flattering
  • see where it may need improvements (be detailed) and try to improve them daily
  • this is something that sticks out in people’s minds, so try your hardest to improve this and make this one of your signatures 

8. Be polite and use those words often


Please, thank you, you’re welcome, hello, good bye…these might arguably might be the most important words in the English language!

The world would be such a better place if everyone would just use these polite words even one more time a day. In this world of entitlement, the simple gesture of saying please and thank you is something of a lost art. It can open doors (literally) and make you stand out in a crowd because of your gentle spirit. 

Being kind is somewhat overrated today. Since you were young, you were told that you needed to be better then anyone else. Growing up in a “dog-eat-dog” world will do that to you, it will make you feel that you owe nothing to anybody. If you don’t get anything out of it, then why do it? 

That sounds so incredibly cold, and that is why you need to be the difference, and not only will you BE the difference, but you will also be a breath of fresh air! 

Don’t even underestimate the power of being polite! It really does get you to where you need to be. People will respond better to you. If you ever are getting frustrated or angry, use your manners even more and it can help to diffuse the situation before it gets worse. It’s very hard for someone to be rude and belligerent to kind and gentle person. 

Any woman can be beautiful, but a woman cannot be elegant without manners.


How does one become more eloquent? 

Since usually revealing too much is not eloquent and can be off putting, you can become more eloquent by learning to take a second before each sentence and pause. Take a deep breath. It doesn’t need to be a forced one, but just enough for your mouth to catch up to your brain. 

This pause will prevent you from speaking too fast, too much, the pause acts as a dam. When it is working properly you won’t let out something that you later regretted. 

The pause also gives the listener time to ingest everything you said. The pause is one very vital key to speaking more eloquently. 


  • use those “magic” words as frequently as possible
  • be sincere when using them (looking in the eye, saying them with intention)
  • don’t ever think you can’t say thank you enough
  • you’re always more elegant when saying thank you rather than short form it
  • “it’s nothing” should only be used with friends
  • life is a bit too casual, don’t be afraid of being too formal 

9. Don’t interrupt anyone when speaking


Nothing belittles or demeans others more than just blatantly speaking over them. Unless of an emergency, interrupting anyone (regardless of age) should be avoided. It really is rude, embarrassing and far from elegance. 

Cutting people off is rooted in the fear of not being heard. 

If you’re constantly doing this, to your husband, your friends, your parents, your children, there is most likely a reason why. And it’s not because you have something so urgent and important to speak about. 

It’s understandable if the person you’re speaking too won’t give you an “in” to jump in and complete your thought, but this isn’t a race or some competition. Perhaps, that person just needs to talk or vent? There is a reason why you are stuck there listening and whether you like it or not, you just have to find the enjoyment in it. It’s also not elegant to be there looking at your watch, huffing and puffing and unintentionally rolling your eyes because of your utter frustration. 

There is nothing wrong with the next time, you can politely excuse yourself before the conversation gets too long. You might have something important, but being the person for someone (even if it is a stranger) is just as important. 

Even when having a heated debate, talking over one another is never efficient. Wait your turn to speak, and if that never happens then when you know it’s the right time be stern (yet gentle and polite) speak your mind. Hopefully this is not the usual circumstance, so then you and listen and be the person that everyone comes to. 


Why can’t I articulate my thoughts clearly?

If you have been trying very hard but seem to always fail – don’t be discouraged. It happens to everyone. 

Sometimes when there is a lot going on in your life, it’s hard for your brain to slow down, or perhaps you are just trying your hand in speaking elegantly and it’s different from your old ways. Regardless, there will be days where it seems to click and others where it is impossible to speak with purpose.

It won’t last forever and even tomorrow will be different. Try your hardest at that moment to do what you can, but remember, always learn from every scenario. Dissect why you can’t seem to speak clearly. Is it because you are always tired or work is too exhausting? Maybe you’re a new mother and getting hardly any sleep with such a life change. 

Give yourself the grace you need and keep trying. It will come. 


  • wait until no one is talking to say what you need
  • if you find that old habits die hard, then apologize for cutting them off and tell them to carry on, only after they are done you can speak
  • remember what you’re saying is probably not important enough to be cutting off anyone
  • if you’re worried that you might cut someone off, wait until they ask for your comment or opinion

Speak Eloquently Meaning

10. Know the power of silence


Sometimes, the moment calls for nothing.

There doesn’t need to be a response, or your two-cents or even your opinion. Sometimes, the moment just needs your full attention thinking about what is being said. 

Many people struggle with this concept and it is usually until they practice it, is when they feel comfortable with it. 

Whether with strangers or loved ones, the idea of that awkward silence is like a slow torturous death. But it doesn’t need to be. 

First, this might be the most important lesson, silence is PERFECTLY fine. It’s completely normal, acceptable and even necessary. So please don’t allow yourself the freedom from anxiety when silence falls between you and someone else. 

You don’t want to fill the conversation with filler words, or force anything where it really does make it worse. Just embrace it, maybe it is something you will laugh at. Maybe not, or maybe it can be something that increases your air of mystery and people want to delight in you more. 

If you are a babbler, this is a great answer on LifeHacker

Another way the power of silence is immense is when you are angry. 

Many mothers use this tool. When you are angry or frustrated, everyone expects the yelling and drama. However, if you react differently and just be silent, it can have much more lasting effect. 

One last tip about silence. If you are one that speaks constantly, then your words start to lose meaning in a way. People will expect you to always talk, so if they miss the first few things you are saying, it’s not that big of a deal. However, the opposite is true too. IF you rarely speak, then when you do, people will naturally WANT to listen. 


Eloquent speaking courses

There are different online courses for speaking, and finding the perfect one has yet to come. However, in the meantime, this thesaurus is a little different in that it helps you find the words that you need and the context of which to say it. 

Speaking eloquently is easier with a tool like this and very affordable. 


  • when not sure how to respond, say nothing
  • if someone is seeking too much and you don’t know how to give it, say nothing
  • if there is an awkward silence, smile and say nothing
  • be confident in your decision to say nothing and it will just make it that much sweeter!

In conclusion

The way you speak and how you sound can be very powerful tools to being an elegant woman. Knowing the right thing to say and how to say it can be the alluring characteristic of speaking eloquently and articulately. 

With these tips, it will be sure to improve and others will notice the difference. You will see the changes because people will want to talk to you more and you will grow the confidence necessary to talk. People will respect you and what you have to say because when you speak it will be with purpose. 

Whether it is small talk or deep conversations, you will impress others with your absolute serenity and intention. This is just another piece of the puzzle of mystery of the question “How does she do it?” 



Saturday 11th of June 2022

Hey, Jennifer! Thank you very much for organizing this article for us. I am studying it to put everything into practice :)

I am translating it to Portuguese and would like to share it on a tiny YouTube Channel if you don't mind.

I would narrate your text, giving you all the credit, of course. As well as sharing the link to this article.

However, if you prefer not to, then I will just record the content for myself, to listen to it several times, hehe.

All the best!


Friday 12th of August 2022

Thanks so much,will surely practice,this daily,this is amazing,and very very,inspiring blogs,i will follow you,in all your social media,handles,thanks,for sharing

Jennifer Lynn

Monday 27th of June 2022

Sure Kamilla, if it helps others, why not?! Good luck :)

Wednesday 26th of May 2021

Amazing !

Jennifer Lynn

Thursday 27th of May 2021

Thank you!

Sunday 23rd of May 2021

Thank you for this, it was extremely helpful. I will do my best to take it to heart and practice daily.

Jennifer Lynn

Thursday 27th of May 2021

Thank you very much :) I'm so glad you enjoyed this post!


Thursday 8th of April 2021

I am so grateful for this ! Just so happened stumble across while browsing on Pinterest. Which I prayed this morning for understanding humbleness in my approach when Interacting with others .Thank sooo. Such


Monday 15th of March 2021

So impressed by this post. You are beautiful and your words are amazing😍😍

Jennifer Lynn

Wednesday 17th of March 2021

Thank you so much Bushra!