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How to Be Elegant: Stop Comparing

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An elegant woman will stop comparing herself to others

22.    She knows grass isn’t greener on the other side.
  No mortal being can escape the hideous grip of acquisitiveness.   It’s human nature, so in essence, it is in all of us. For some it can be more obvious than others, but regardless, it’s there. We need to stop comparing ourselves with each other.   Do you have curly hair? I bet there was a point in your life that you longed for straight hair. Or if you’re flat chested like yours truly, how many times have you wished you could actually fill out your shirt, but at the same time the women who are well-endowed have yearned for no back issues.   To be simply stated, we are never appeased with what we have.   As a matter of fact, I think it’s safe to say greed is not the root of all evil. It is indeed measuring oneself to another.   When you compare, it exposes your weaknesses and insecurities. Very unflattering and very inelegant. Let’s just put it bluntly right here, right now. The grass is NEVER greener on the other side.   This very thought has ended marriages, has been the reason of so many mistakes and regrets, it even has made people lose a lot of money and belongings.   This whole idea that grass is greener on the other side is so depressing.   This post is going to go over how you can stop wishing your grass is greener and I’m going to give you a hose so that you can water your grass just to get it as green or even MORE greener than you thought!   Grab your watering can, and let’s go! [/et_pb_text][/et_pb_column][/et_pb_row][et_pb_row][et_pb_column type=”1_4″][/et_pb_column][et_pb_column type=”1_2″][et_pb_image _builder_version=”3.11.1″ src=”” /][/et_pb_column][et_pb_column type=”1_4″][/et_pb_column][/et_pb_row][et_pb_row][et_pb_column type=”4_4″][et_pb_text _builder_version=”3.11.1″]

How to stop comparing




Cherish what you have because it can be taken away with a bat of an eye

We have all heard those deeply depressing stories about someone losing everything. It happens every day and each time it’s just as sad. But what is even more somber, is the fact that we are so quick to forget how much we have. We aren’t very thankful on a daily basis. Instead, only when something tragic happens is when we appreciate what we truly have.   If you want to stop comparing, you should be focusing on what you have, who loves you, who you love, and anything along those lines.   Comparing yourself to someone else is the birth of all self-pity.   The problem with comparing is that we only see what we want to see. We choose to look the other way quite easily. This man might have a lot of money and can do what he wants when he wants, but we discount that he has two failed marriages and no time for his children.   We need to make a better effort to consciously be aware of how fortunate we are. Yes, I realize bad things happen and life can be difficult to say the least. However, there is always something to be thankful for and that goes a lot further than steeping in our resentment of where our life is at the moment.   It’s much more productive to cherish your life than it is to condemn it.   [/et_pb_text][/et_pb_column][/et_pb_row][et_pb_row][et_pb_column type=”1_4″][/et_pb_column][et_pb_column type=”1_2″][et_pb_image _builder_version=”3.11.1″ src=”” /][/et_pb_column][et_pb_column type=”1_4″][/et_pb_column][/et_pb_row][et_pb_row][et_pb_column type=”4_4″][et_pb_text _builder_version=”3.11.1″]

They want what you have

Do you really think that this whole comparing is a one-sided issue?   Sadly, no.   Where you might be feeling sad for yourself, odds are, they are doing the same thing!   I find it so amusing and also refreshingly humbling to hear people who we think have it all, wish they could have what we have. It really goes to show that this mentality isn’t sexist or racist or elitist. Every single person from time to time in their life will feel inadequate and wished they had something different. The next time you want to put yourself down or have some sad pity party, remember that there is someone out there terribly longing for what you have.  

Life’s too short

It’s true.   Personally, I feel like I am getting so many subliminal hints that life is too short. It’s too short to be worrying if you could have more and wanting to have more.   Instead of drowning in the negativity, perhaps seeing it from a different perspective is all that is needed.   I feel that when we are younger, life feels like it could go on forever. The idea of our mortality is never an issue. We don’t think about it on a daily basis and because of that, we don’t appreciate what we have been given.   When you talk to someone who is older, they have this sense of freedom, and it is so refreshing and invigorating! The very idea that life is so precious and can quickly be taken from you gives you the ability to live it to the fullest at that moment.   Quite ironic.   Next time you see yourself wishing for something different, remember that your life can be taken just for being at the wrong place at the wrong time. Quit thinking that you want a bigger house or better skin or even children.   Stop.   Enjoy every single second. Do not waste even one second of it wishing it was different.   [/et_pb_text][/et_pb_column][/et_pb_row][et_pb_row][et_pb_column type=”1_4″][/et_pb_column][et_pb_column type=”1_2″][et_pb_image _builder_version=”3.11.1″ src=”” /][/et_pb_column][et_pb_column type=”1_4″][/et_pb_column][/et_pb_row][et_pb_row][et_pb_column type=”4_4″][et_pb_text _builder_version=”3.11.1″]

Acknowledge your jealousy and respond with gratitude and kindness

If you simply cannot resist the urge to compare and wish for something that you don’t have, the next step is to acknowledge it.   Not only acknowledge it, but embrace it and understand it. Ask it questions. Find out the root of it all. If we are truly happy with ourselves than that is when we can be fully happy for others .   When we find that we are wanting what others have, instead of throwing gas on that fire and letting it fester in our brains, we should reciprocate with kindness.   It acts as a self-stop sign. It prevents us from falling down a self-pity, woe-is-me kind of attitude. But the kindness has the capacity to tweak the feeling from jealousy to being genuinely happy for the person.   Kindness is the secret to happiness. You make others happy, you in turn, make yourself happy.  

Run far away from social media

As much as it is a wonderful place, it can be such a toxic environment.   Instagram is not just for pictures about your life, it is now a place where you spend three hours posing in front of a camera to get that “candid” shot of you.   Unfortunately, people (even I catch myself) forgetting how much relentless effort goes into these lifestyle pictures.   If you actually stop and think about it, these people are taking pictures with the intent to purposely get others jealous and to see how “great and exciting” their life is! It’s down right terrible! Yet so disturbingly addictive!   What is ironic about social media is that it does bring people together. I have found some pretty incredible people on these sites, but as it has the power to connect it also has the intense power to destroy people’s realities about life.   People start getting disillusioned that the more followers means more people like them, and the more likes means that they are more socially accepted. It’s so corrupted.   But it is so easy to see Pinterest and want that pinterest perfect house with the best DIY art projects. Listen, I get it. We all wish we were perfect, but going on anything online and believing it all to be real is just plain stupidity and should all come with a warning label.   “If you can’t tell, this is all staged and should not be mistaken for real life. Our life is as messy, complicated, frustrating and irritating as the next person.”   [/et_pb_text][/et_pb_column][/et_pb_row][et_pb_row][et_pb_column type=”1_4″][/et_pb_column][et_pb_column type=”1_2″][et_pb_image _builder_version=”3.11.1″ src=”” /][/et_pb_column][et_pb_column type=”1_4″][/et_pb_column][/et_pb_row][et_pb_row][et_pb_column type=”4_4″][et_pb_text _builder_version=”3.11.1″]

Your story is still being written

We are never too old to discover something about ourselves.   Even with the late Anthony Bourdain, he didn’t start this television and writing career until he was 44!   I find that so inspirational! We are told that if you aren’t doing something miraculous by 30, then that’s it. You’re just a person existing in a world full of other people’s achievements and greatness.   But that’s not the case at all. We still have the potential to change other’s lives.   When we see someone do something great with their life or their career, we shouldn’t get jealous and wish that we had done something differently with ours. Just stop your complaining and do it!   The grass is not greener on the other side, because you have the ability to do something about it!   Start writing that book, starting singing in front of others. Maybe you want to be that photographer or movie maker. Life is funny because with the internet, anything is truly possible all from the comfort of your own home.   Being jealous will impede on your potential.   Your life only ends when you’re six feet in the ground.   Every day that you are given should be a gift and you can treasure it any way you want and if that’s to try and change the world with talent, then do it.   People get jealous because they see people traveling or going out to nice places. Well, the best part about it, is that you can do the same thing too. Be courageous and brave and step out of your comfort zone!   My point is that you just never truly know what is going to happen, so keep your mind open and your heart willing to try new things.

In conclusion

All I really need to say, is to be happy. Whatever that may look like for you, but you can’t go around wishing you had more or hoping it was different.   This was the cards you were dealt and it’s up to you to make the best of it. You might be thinking to yourself what terrible luck, but I guarantee that there are many other people out there dying for what you are holding.   Stop comparing what others want you to see and brutally open your eyes to the truth. Look behind the smoke and mirrors and you will be exposed to the ugly truth.   Be elegant, love who you are and what your plans are. It might not seem like it’s too exciting at the moment, but like I said before, your story is still being written!   The proverbial grass that you may fantasize about is just as yellow, riddled with dog pee burns and prickly weeds as the next one’s. Cherish your grass and let it flourish and blossom into a beautiful life, one without regret and empty dreams.  
22.    She knows grass isn’t greener on the other side.

How to Be Elegant: Stop Comparing

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Wednesday 13th of May 2020

Such a really excellent post ! I’m so glad I discovered your site , you have some unique and genuine content unlike so many others I’ve stumbled upon, bookmarking ❤️

Jennifer Lynn

Wednesday 13th of May 2020

Hi there Lex,

I hope you're doing well! Thank you for that wonderful comment! I am so glad that you liked the post, it really excites me to keep up writing! I just want to let you know how much I appreciate the comment :) I hope you enjoy the rest of your day!


Wednesday 15th of August 2018

This is such a brilliantly well-written and thoughtful post Jennifer. I agree, social media is great but it can also be the worst place for comparing yourself to others. I have to often remind myself that we are only seeing someone’s edited highlights and perfectly instagrammed photos. It’s not always as perfect as it seems. I really enjoyed reading your thoughts on this and you have written a really excellent post. Thank you for sharing lovely <3 xx

Bexa |

Jennifer Lynn

Wednesday 15th of August 2018

Thank you so much Bexa! Your comment is so sweet it just made my night! I am so glad that you enjoyed it! Instagram is terrible at comparing I agree! I am like you and have to remind myself constantly! Thanks for taking the time! Have a great night! :)