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Thinking of others first is something saints would do, but apparently so do elegant woman!

Welcome to another post in the series, How to be Elegant, and today I am writing about how an elegant woman will be concerned with others and making sure that they feel welcomed, loved and just all around feel wonderful. Essentially an elegant woman will never let another person feel left out.

This is not some sort of excuse to shame anyone for wanting the best for themselves, but it is something that needs to be addressed..

And today is that day!

We live in a terribly selfish world. It’s always “me me me” and when you are around an elegant woman and she asks you how your day was or even if they could get you something, it’s like a breath of fresh air!

It’s not hard, but then why is it so rare to come across one?

Because we like to make sure our needs are met first! And that I say, is where we need to realize that it needs to end! We must sound some sort of alarm that will warn us when we are acting like selfish jerks and start expressing love and selfLESSness!

Okay, but I don’t want to hear “Jennifer is saying that I should be a pushover and even worse, a perpetual people-pleaser!”

No, you couldn’t be further from the truth and I would have to object to your slanderous ways!

We, as elegant woman, must make a conscious effort on a daily basis to put other people’s needs ahead of our own. This is quite similar to random act of kindness I suppose, but more in depth, and even more life changing (for both parties involved!).

It doesn’t need to be a stranger.

It could be someone that we are awfully close with and where we decide that it’s better that they are happier.

So, let’s dive in. How do we think of others before our own selves?

This really does go against the human evolution, but also it’s a good thing that us humans are able to ignore our natural instincts!

Step one: Focus on what the situation is at hand, other people. What are they doing? Could you be of service for them?

Step two: Get it for them.

No, I’m joking, it’s not that simple! But it also kind of is….

Step three: Ask if you can help in any way, but be careful of the ones that always reject any help when really it is just a cry for any attention.

This can be a little difficult to decipher, especially if they are strangers or someone you are not quite familiar with. It’s always safest to listen and obey what they ask, you don’t want to impede on them, but always reassure how you are there for them.

But because we all love lists, here’s one.

To make things even simpler, let’s make a list of things you can do that could make other people happier.

What to do to help others

  1. Let them borrow your coat, sweater, jacket if they are cold.
  2. Buy them a drink if they look thirsty, or even a drink to comfort them.
  3. This is a big one: If they comment on how they like your purse, or something (genuinely) then give it to them. (Told you it’s a big one!)
  4. Drive them to a place they need and pick them up too if you can.
  5. It could be as simple as allowing them to order their food first.
  6. Give someone a call who needs it.
  7. If you know what snail mail is, give that a go!
  8. If you see someone being picked on, or just feeling left out, you leave your thoughts at the door and do whatever it takes to make them feel that they belong.
  9. Being at the change rooms at a clothing store (a potential nightmare, really who hasn’t cried in one of those rooms before?!) and tell the ladies how beautiful they look in their new clothes. Make sure it’s believable and not creepy and they will radiate with confidence.

If you don’t live under a rock and are on Pinterest, there are so many posts about self care and self love, but in reality, there are so many people that suffer from not enough love for themselves. Even by giving them a push in the right way can do wonders. Just think that your one seemingly insignificant remark could give them just enough confidence to do something else to better themselves.

It really does work that way.

Be that person for someone.

One main characteristic is to see if it is making you slightly suffer or also sacrifice. This all sounds very martyr-y but let me tell you, it is. — Ha! No it’s not, it’s just about sacrifice that you are willing to be without something temporarily to humble yourself and to show that you aren’t better or deserve more.

People are incredibly impressed and really leaves a wonderful thought of who you are in their minds. Your generosity will speak volumes about who you are and that could even be your legacy. Not too bad if I would have to say so.

This really all stems down to a couple of things.

When people are around you, how do they feel?

Sadly, some people have the tendency to make others always feel little around them and they aren’t necessarily doing it on purpose. They just have that air and it’s hard to shake it. But to be an elegant woman is to put your feelings aside and make others feel better around you.

It doesn’t sound difficult, and that’s because it isn’t. But with this new world order where it’s always about “me, me, me” and make sure that all my needs are met at every waking second, well it’s no secret that when a woman who does something like this leaves such a lasting imprint.

It’s one of those conundrums where the person who actually gives, feels better than the one who receives. Everyone wins.

Every.

One.

Please try it the next time you are out because you can really make someone’s day and also yours at the same time. How productive!

Never be discouraged neither because some people simply don’t react well to strangers complimenting. It might happen, but just smile and wish them well and move on to the next person that deserves a little bit of love.

 

I believe that being elegant can change the world, so what will you do?

Until next time my elegant ladies.