“I will never nag. I am not going to be like my mom and nag my husband.”Then a few months into marriage and you’re a bit more comfortable, you can hear the “I told you do to that yesterday…” leave your lips. You try to stop it. But you can’t. It is inevitable. You’re now a nag. You accept that it must just come with the territory of marriage. You’ve seen your mom do it, possibly even your grandma. And now, you pass that on that irritating torch! But you don’t have to. You don’t have to nag. Nagging is not the right answer. Remember how annoyed you were when your mom nagged? Even if it wasn’t directed at you, it was obnoxious to listen to.
I am not saying I’ve never nagged.I have! And it definitely didn’t go over well with my husband. Not saying he didn’t do what I was asking. But he was miserable afterwards, I was frustrated and the whole night was ruined. …and why? Nagging is not worth it! Not only is it not worth it, it’s not even necessary to get someone to do something. Sure you might be saying…
“Yes, Jennifer, but you don’t understand! My family never listens!”Trust me, I was there. I wasn’t the mother asking but I was the child that didn’t care. You want to know why? Well I thought deeply about this and why I was so stubborn to do what my mom said. I remember as soon as she would say to do something, I would roll my eyes and huff and puff. I realized it was because of her constant nagging. She wasn’t asking. Nagging is the perfect way to shut someone down and make them feel belittled. It gets exhausting over time. I believe that when it comes to nagging, we are crazy. Crazy is when you do the same thing over and over again and expect different results!
Perhaps it is time to try a different method!Unfortunately, there isn’t a magic word or phrase that will just get people to do what you ask. It is more of an attitude adjustment. My husband and I have talked about this (because let’s face it, nagging is not only a woman’s issue!). When I nag him to do something it makes him feel like a child, and when I heard that, I felt terrible! I don’t want that in our relationship. That’s the last thing I want to do, is make him feel like I look down at him. Being an elegant woman, I want to build up my husband not tear him down. This opened my eyes and I saw that he wants to help me, he likes making me happy. But when I am hurting him or making him feel like he’s never doing what I say by persistently nagging, he naturally pushes away. Which of course, makes me nag more. It’s a terrible cycle to be in. After some time I have come up with the ultimate secret! The secret to end nagging forever!
The ultimate secret to end nagging
There are two parts to this. Both must be done in order to end nagging once and for all.
- Higher your expectations
- Appreciation and Gratitude