The Moment I Realized Elegance isn’t About Perfection

Perfection is the Enemy of Progress: Elegance isn’t About Perfection

It can be rather difficult sometimes, when you think that living elegantly means that you need to watch every single thing you do with a magnifying glass.

When you watch YouTube or movies, all the elegant women move so effortlessly. They dress like they have all the money in the world. Their homes are neat and tidy and you won’t find any clutter no matter how hard you look.

It may seem nice to think that once you choose to adopt an elegant lifestyle, all the little pieces will fall in place so neatly like finishing a 1000 piece puzzle.

However, in reality, no. It doesn’t work out like that.

And, honestly, that’s okay.

Why Do We Expect Perfection?

We are so hard on ourselves, it can be so frustrating,

I would never expect perfection from my husband or children. I wouldn’t think about it with my friends or family. So then, why is it that I expect it from myself?

I can guarentee that you are the exact same as me.

Perhaps you might be better at organizing certain parts of your life, but not everything can run smoothly all the time.

But really, that brings me to my question. Why do we expect perfection?

It will never happen.

Period.

You’re not perfect, or close to it.

I am not perfect, and even further from it!

No matter how hard I try, it can never happen. And then, like a crazy person, I feel let down when I can’t manage the cleaning, the dinner, the work, the shopping, the laundry, and the socializing (I know I’m probably forgetting something) all simultaenously.

I bet you’re similar to me where you have more grace for others than yourself.

The Beginning of it All

This is exactly why I started, Elegant Living Everyday. Because I knew that there are many women suffering with this and it can be disheartening and if you don’t have other people to vent or talk about it, it can feel very isolating.

So when you read the next line, make sure to write it down and remember it!

Elegance, does not equal perfection.

Okay, now that I got that out of the way, I would like to talk about what we should be focusing on.

That is every moment that you catch yourself trying to be perfect, to replace it with elegance.

Remember how elegance does NOT equal perfection? That’s what I want to talk about. If every time you see yourself trying to have the “perfect” hair or wardrobe or cook a gourmet meal – let’s say instead of trying to be something we’re not (no one is perfect!) that we are trying being elegant.

Progress Over Perfection

Usually, you are about to take on something new or just try to tackle a job, and what happens? You stop before you even started.

You might think that there is no way that you will be able to accomplish everything you want.

Perhaps the idea of doing well is so crazy, that you talk yourself out of it.

Personally, I have caught myself saying that it’s pointless to dream of anything.

Before I even start, the idea just gets shot in the foot.

But as time has gone on I’ve realized that the idea of perfection is exactly what is holding me back. Like I’ve mentioned before, no one is perfect and no one expects perfection. They only expect a decent attempt.

Do your best, whatever that means in the moment.

You might need some inspiration and I’ll tell you that if you start with something, it will lead you to where you need to be. Your “trying” might open a door to exactly what you wanted and you would never have got there if you didn’t just start.

Done is Better than Perfect

Exactly as I was talking about, just getting that project done, that book written, that song sang, or whatever it is that you’re working on complete, will bring you to the next step.

Effortlessly.

It’s unbelievable the amount of successful people that just started (even if they felt ready or not). What they produced in the beginning was nothing compared to how it ended but that’s not the point.

The whole point is to just keep moving forward.

Perfection Creates Stress

A truer statement was never spoken.

Living an elegant lifestyle, you feel that everything needs to be on point at all times. This is never going to happen.

Just keep doing what you think is right. Keep working towards your goals. Regardless of what they are, anything is achievable if you stop putting the pressure on yourself to be perfect.

Perfection is an Illusion

It doesn’t exist.

She’s not real. And the faster you can let that sink in, the faster you will be living your goals.

This is good news though because you can let it all go. Think about anything or anyone. Their success was never a straight line.

Even when you have attained everything you want, when you arrive there, you realize that it’s not all what you thought it would be.

Replace Perfection with Elegance

There are moments when I see that I’m struggling to keep it all together, and that is a sign for me that I’m putting too much on me. Whether it’s work or chores or anything really. It’s a time for me to slow down and remember elegance.

E – Embrace

To live elegantly, start by embracing who you are—flaws, quirks, and all. True elegance isn’t about perfection; it’s about authenticity. When you embrace your unique self, you radiate confidence and grace.

This also means embracing the present moment, finding beauty in the here and now, and appreciating life as it unfolds, imperfections included. It’s easier said then done, but with practice it is achievable!

L – Let Go

Letting go is pivitol in elegant living. Release the need to control every detail or achieve unattainable standards of perfection. Let go of clutter—both physical and mental—and make space for what truly matters. By shedding what no longer serves you, you create room for simplicity, clarity, and peace.

E – Elevate

Elevate your life by focusing on quality over quantity. Whether it’s the relationships you nurture, the items you own, or the experiences you seek, choose what adds value and joy.

Elevation isn’t about extravagance; it’s about carefully curating a life that feels meaningful and aligned with your values, thoughts, and emotions.

G – Gratitude

Gratitude is the foundation of an elegant mindset.

When you focus on what you have rather than what you lack, you cultivate contentment and joy. Gratitude shifts your perspective, helping you see the beauty in small, everyday moments.

It’s a reminder that elegance is found in appreciating life’s simple pleasures.

A – Accept

Acceptance is about making peace with imperfection.

Life isn’t always polished, and neither are we.

Accepting yourself and others as they are builds compassion and inner calm. It’s through acceptance that you find freedom from the constant chase for “better” and instead discover the elegance of simply being.

N – Nuture

Elegant living involves nurturing what matters most—your well-being, your relationships, and your passions.

Take time to care for yourself, both physically and emotionally.

Nurture your environment by creating spaces that feel serene and inspiring. When you nurture what you love, you cultivate a life of balance and fulfillment.

C – Calm

Calm is the essence of elegance.

In a world that often feels chaotic, cultivating calm allows you to move through life with grace. This means slowing down, being intentional, and finding moments of stillness.

Calm isn’t just the absence of noise; it’s the presence of peace.

E – Ease

Ease is the art of letting life flow naturally.

It’s about simplifying, streamlining, and choosing paths that align with your energy and feeling.

Living with ease doesn’t mean avoiding challenges; it means approaching them with a mindset of resilience and grace.

When you prioritize ease, you create a life that feels lighter and more joyful.

The Moment I Realized It’s Not about Perfection

I’m always reminded of when the most endearing moments of people are not when they are trying to be someone they aren’t, but rather it is the complete opposite.

The exact moment I realized that elegance isn’t about perfection is when I watched a woman in her 60s just be so relaxed with herself. She was trying to pay for some clothes at a counter and as she was grabbing her purse she dropped her keys. When she went to grab them the clothes fell too. Instead of being embarassed, she simply laughed it off and it was just a cute moment.

Not overreacting. Not making a scene. Not huffing or puffing or swearing. She made a comment about “that kind of day” and laughed it off. Then gracefully went to pick up everything. It was just her being her. Not trying to overcompensate for a clumsy moment. But her attitude made the whole situation funny.

Instead of thinking that she is a mess, you looked at her and thought of how pleasant she is.

I am finding that you really get to know the kind of person you are when things start to go wrong. Exactly how you handle those situations is what really brings our your true colors.

Your Imperfections are Beautiful

My husband always reminds me that I am most beautiful when I am not trying. My hair might be a bit more messy or my clumsy moves or I say something that sounded a little stupid – that is when you show people who you really are and people love MOST about others is their genuineness.

You are most elegant when you are being you.

Yes, you can refine your ways, but don’t forget that it is also about bringing the real you out.

It would be pretty boring if we were all the same, looked and sounded the same.

Your little flaws and quirks is what makes you most endearing.

It’s your little “mistakes” or flaws that make you authentic and that is really important.

It’s funny and ironic that the more you try to be perfect or be that picture you have in your head, the worse the outcome. I think it’s because you are just trying too hard and not letting it happen organically.

This is a good thing though.

You don’t need to try so hard to be that perfect elegant lady, you just have to be yourself. And the little habits that you do everyday can be refined.

Don’t be too hard on yourself.

That is something I had to learn which has really helped me live more elegantly and relaxed.