Have you even been in a situation where you need to be happy for someone – even when it feels impossible. Utterly useless, and it’s just so hard where you feel like you just can’t force it?
- Someone’s getting married and you’re still single and still looking.
- Your best friend announced she’s pregnant AGAIN, and you seem impossible of conceiving baby number 1.
- Perhaps there is a celebration for your sister’s promotion, and you’re unemployed or working your dead end job.
We all have moments of darkness in our life, but even if we want to deny it, the rest of the world moves on and good things happen to them.
Possible it’s neither of them and you feel a twinge of jealousy.
It’s okay, as long as you know the problem, we can work on it!
I know how hard it can be to fake that smile and say congrats without having that ‘look’ on your face.
As much as you feel it is impossible, I promise you, you just need to find ways to actually BE happy for them. It’s in you somewhere, you just need to dig it up.
As an elegant woman, we must understand that everyone has high and low points in their life. When one of our friend’s is having their low moment, we do everything to be sensitive to their feelings and try to cushion the blow as best we can. But sometimes, it can happen to us. Unfortunately, when we might be at our low your friends or family might have something exciting happen. It is your job as their loved one to show how happy or proud you are of them. No matter what!
We are selfish creatures, when we are sad or depressed, we want to bring everyone down with us. But you know, deep down, that is not the right thing to do (no matter how good it may feel).
Think if the places were switched and you were the one with the new baby, new job or new house. You would hope they would be happy for you. Right…
If you’re anything like me, as my husband puts it, I wear my heart on my sleeve.
It’s really not that great of an attribute of mine. People can see how I feel from miles away and I struggle with this constantly. I was dealing with exactly this. A few months ago, something tragic happened in my life (and perhaps one day I will want to share it, but for now, I would rather wait until I am more comfortable talking about it) but as life moves on and good things happen to ones around me I had to cope with this and be truly happy.
Let me tell you, it is not easy!
Although in the moment, it is so hard to smile and be gracious. Afterwards I am glad I did. I feel terrible when I am not entirely excited for someone. This just adds to my negative emotions. Now I feel guilty and sad. Not only am I bummed out but now I can add jerk to the list. I know there are many woman like me out there, so please, think of your future self and be as happy as you can. You will be very proud of yourself.
This is not how I want people to remember me. I don’t want people to think of me as stuck in that moment, or can’t be happy for others. No one does. Just like everything else in life, we just have to move on.
Big Green Monster got you?
What if nothing bad has happened? What if you’re just a tad jealous? This may happen, but that means you need to be even more honest with yourself and see WHY you are jealous in the first place. It really has nothing to do with them or anyone else. That is something you should be asking yourself. But, to prevent any more damage, again be nice, be happy and be genuine.
An elegant woman is never envious. Sure, she might have her moments, but when it comes down to the real situation, no. She prides in herself that she stays away from that soul-sucking emotion. It never ends well being jealous. Being jealous can deflate even the most self-confident woman, it is just toxic and never does anything good.
No matter the circumstance, there is no excuse to not acknowledge the celebration. You can do it!
5 Things to Remember when You Need to Be Happy For Someone – Even When it Feels Impossible
Give it time.
I know this that the more time that passes, the easier it gets to be truly happy for people. You hear it all the time, but for a good reason.
You might say “you are crazy, this feeling will never diminish!”
Yes it will.
Time really does heal all wounds.
Even though you may not believe it, but you are moving on and getting better.
If you would have told me a few months ago that I could be happy for others…I would have been skeptical. But it’s true! I have been able to be genuinely happy for others. (I still have my moments though, and I am okay with that).
Just know that tomorrow, you will be a bit better and this time next week… a bit more better.
2. Take it one day at a time.
One day you might be excited for someone. The next, you might take a step backwards. But don’t let it discourage you.
It’s completely natural.
Just take it one day/hour/minute at a time. What ever is needed.
Be gentle with yourself, but do push yourself out of your comfort level. This is why my husband is the most wonderful man in the world, he would push me ever so gently to be happy for others and their fortune. It was hard and it hurt but in the long run it really did help me move on. It was all worth it in the end.
Yes, he does give me the tough love!
3. Fake it… as genuinely as possible.
Then there are the times where you think “screw you life” but it doesn’t matter. Put on that smile and try to think of the bigger picture.
Be gracious for the things you DO have. Think of yourself in THEIR shoes.
Do whatever you can and think whatever you can think that will change your attitude. I bet there is one thing you can be thankful for.
Find it and just focus on that.
4. Don’t overdo it.
Then there are the moments that you are your weakest. And putting on that smile is more than you can handle.
Well, just do that.
Tell them your happy for them. If they are truly your friends or loved ones they WILL understand.
5. Be the example.
Okay, I know I didn’t want to hear it right away, but it IS true.
You are strong. You are brave. People are watching and see this in you.
Be the example that people can look up to for guidance or strength. If you can rise above your own emotions and truly find happiness for others, then people will see this and think very highly of you. Rightfully so!
You may even influence others to do the same because like I said before, everyone goes through their highs and lows. It’s life.
In the end…
Be an elegant woman, stand tall, have confidence and be happy for others. There will be a time when you will need them to be there happily for you!
You are not a bitter woman.
You do not wish badly on others.
So don’t act like it by not being happy for others. You can do it!
Put yourself in their place, think a good thought, smile, and throw your arms around them as you genuinely wish them congratulations.
Knowing despite your sad times, despite your hardships, you can look them in the eye and be happy for them.
Then you know you did it…
You are that strong, brave, elegant woman you always knew you were.
Until next time
Keep it elegant!
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