How I Learned to Embrace Change Instead of Fearing It

Fear of Change: From Fearing it to Embracing it

The secret to dealing with change from an elegant perspective is to flow with life’s transitions rather than resisting them and refusing to grow. It doesn’t mean that you’re impervious to fear, but it does mean that you don’t allow it to control and diciate your day.

Why do we Fear Change?

As you age, you get set in your ways. You see your regular routine as a form of safety or comfort. Even if that means that it’s not ideal – it’s still something you can count on.

Think of when you were stuck in a rut (or if you still are in a rut) and you do the same habits. Maybe you get up late, you stay in your pajamas and order in food. You know deep down that this routine is not ideal. You know that there is a better way, but the very thought of trying to change them around is daunting.

I’m not even mentioning the changes that we cannot control, such as the health of ourselves and family, our aging parents, our children, our job or any of the many variables that we cannot fully control.

I remember my nana always talking about change, and in my young adult brain, change was fun! Change meant that something exciting was about to happen. Maybe that was an upcoming trip or moving out or a new job. However, my nana, being an older woman, told me that at her age, change usually wasn’t a good thing.

I didn’t quite understand that. Now, I can see what she meant.

Change can come in all sorts of ways.

As I’ve heard more and more, “Change is the only constant in life.”

How does this tie into elegant living? Well, to live elegantly is to go with the flow. Don’t try to resist or pull from what is happening. Regardless of what you are going through, there is an elegant way to handle it.

First, understand that fear of change is universal. It touches all of our lives. It doesnt matter where you live, how much money you make or who you are. The fear is there, but it is how you deal with the change is what makes all the difference and whether or not you enjoy each and every moment.

Fear of Change = Fear of Being Uncomfortable

Change doesn’t need to be a scary thing. It’s just the normal part of aging. And if you are blessed enough to see many birthdays, you will realize that it is just the way it is.

Think of your life up until now.

No doubt there has been many changes that led you to where you are today. Some good and some bad.

The first step is to see that comfort is truly what we seek. It’s a natural process of humans. We like to feel safe, and our normal routine give us that feeling.

Loss of control, even though we control nothing, this is how we try to have some. It’s all fake and the more you realize that the freer you will become.

For those of you who are religious, this is here faith comes in and leaning into that can help so much!

Reframe Change as an Opportunity

As difficult as it may seem at times, I like to look at change as an oppurtunity for self-improvement. Even if that means only to trust God more, or trust that I am strong enough to handle it. It doesn’t need to be about leveling up in life to have self-improvement.

It really could be as little as when something goes astray, to keep your elegant composure. It can be, that when my day goes a little off plan, I will not react, I will go with the flow and not let it ruin my day.

Embracing change gracefully is truly a sign of a refined and intentional life. Stop trying to control every little thing and learn to go with the flow of the day. Find the little moments of pleasure and keep going.

The Elegant Approach to Facing Change

I like to look at change, especally if it is a change that is starting to terrify me, from this approach and I feel that it helps me during those moments,

1) Pause and Reflect

If I receive some bad news, or I am dealing with something that I can’t change or control, before I allow my emotions to take hold and start making it worse, I stop.

I don’t allow my thoughts to bring me onto a bad road, I pause what I am doing and write down what I am truly scared of. For you, you might not need to write anything down but talk about it.

I find that writing it down helps my brain to not need to hold on to anything,

Anyways, after writing them down I am able to look at them and be more critical.

You know how when a friend comes to you with their problems and you are able to dish out pretty good advice, but yet, you don’t always follow your own advice if it was your problems. I find that is because you are not able to diconnect from your personal issues. However, writing them down and truly being critical – it helps to put things into perspective.

2) Simplify the Transition

What type of change is it? Are you moving? Are you dealing with a diagnosis? Maybe your child is now driving? There are s many endless types of change that can be terrifying.

After you wrote them down, now you can break it down further and see how each change can be done in more manageable steps.

Moving? Take each room and pack it up. Start with the little knick-knacks and end with the big furniture. Don’t move on until that room is completely finished.

Anything can be done in smaller steps.

3) Focus on the Present

I struggle with this, the dreaded… “what if…”

Most of our anxiety stems from the future “what if’s”, to the point that it can paralyze you.

Stop.

Focus on a task at hand. I usually need to do something physical. Literally keeping my hands busy that I am not thinking about something that hasn’t and most likely won’t happen.

Comparison is the theif of joy? No, who ever said that clearly never played the “what if” game.

4) Curate Your Environment

I never took this one seriously when I was younger, but boy oh boy, this one is a huge help when I am dealing with a change that I don’t want to.

I think it’s because the one thing you can control is your space.

When the outside world seems chaotic or moving too fast, your house doesn’t. It can be the elegant and quiet space you need.

5) Remember, You’re Stronger

Often times, I forget that I have handled many different changes in life and I came out pretty good. But fear of change has a great way of making you feel completely incompetent and almost stupid.

Don’t fall for this.

You are strong and brave and you can handle it. You are more than capable.

Fear of Change Doesn’t Need to be a Daily Fight

The more you deal with it rather than hide from it, the easier it gets. You start to see how you are more than strong enough to deal with the problem. You are resilient, but fear has a way of tricking you into feeling like you can’t do anything.

Ignore those thoughts.

Try these little steps and let me know in the comments what do you do to deal with the fear of change!