Why You Need a Positive Attitude in Life

Why You Need a Positive Attitude in Life

Why you need a positive attitude in life

I am sure by now, you are all familiar how your mood can affect your life and the people around you. It’s been talked about countless times by many people trying to make you life better, myself included!   For the last few months, I have been talking it a little more seriously and researching it with an eager mind. To think that by slightly manipulating your thinking, you’re able to get a different outcome, it honestly marvels me.   Maybe that’s because I found it hard to believe. I used to live my life under the impression that what was happening to me was completely unrelated to my thoughts or actions.  I used to anticipate that things just happened to me and I had absolutely no control over it. To clarify, my behavior or attitude was irrelevant to my life.   Doesn’t that just sound a little ridiculous?   Well, now I have come to understand the power of your mind is much greater than any muscle in your body.   I personally know a lot of people that live the way I used to, and I bet you know some as well.  But this article is not to throw facts at you about how you can live positively. That will be another article, but this is just to explain how living positively can enhance your life. The situations that you are in, the life that you are living now, did not just happen. It did not just transpire this way for no reason. Whether you like to acknowledge it or not, you had some effect..   In this post, I plan on explaining the domino-effect of positivity and why you can’t live without it either!

My negativity story

You could call me a typical skeptic when it came to manifesting.   The idea that I could “wish” my way to what I wanted in life seemed too easy and I was no naive gal (or so I thought!). The law of attraction wasn’t something I had read too much on and because of my ignorance, I simply did not understand it.   But once I became aware of this, I started seeing it everywhere, almost the same as when you are interested in a car and you start noticing it everywhere you go. At first, I just ignored it, being the stubborn individual I am, labelling it as coincidence. But as time went on, it was becoming alarmingly more than coincidence and I forced myself into looking into it. So I did…   It all started about a month ago, where I was constantly thinking how nice it would be to reach a goal for my blog. To be more personal and specific with you, it was how many people visited my blog daily.   I used to come close every so often, so I knew it was attainable, but I had no idea it could be long term.   Well, one day, I reached the goal! Then came the second and then the third. Next thing I realize it’s been three weeks and I am surpassing my numbers almost every single day! If you are a fellow blogger, then you can share in my complete shock and excitement!   The funny thing is, when I was doing well, my thoughts continued to be positive effortlessly! I had the confidence that I could reach my goals and I did. There was nothing that could get in between my goals and my blog.  

Little did I know, it was my mindset that would put a halt on my achievements!

  Almost a month into what seemed like blissful tenacity, where everything just seemed to click and my numbers were proving that, something changed. My blog that I had worked so hard for was finally just making sense.Then, my wonderful husband and I had gotten into a fight.   Nothing major, nothing important at all, and it was over within a couple hours. To be honest, I don’t even remember what is was about.  But, as we worked quietly together without even uttering a single word, I do what most women do. We start overthinking!   This had started me on a path or more like a downward spiral that deflected any achievements I was reaching.   My pointless and completely irrelevant negative thinking created a monster of doubt, that whispered evil reminders that I was never good enough to write. I was completely undeserving of the numbers I was attaining, and that all of it was unsustainable.   Guess what happened.   You probably already know!   My numbers started dropping, which of course only cemented the doubts. If before I couldn’t believe what I was reaching, well of course that was just a stroke of luck.   It was a terrible domino effect. The poorer my numbers, the more I thought I wasn’t good enough, which also seemed to keep bringing down the numbers.   My certainty of being a writer was being questioned and I had even considered stopping this blog.    

Negative thoughts will beat you up and spit you out

This might sound innocent enough.   Yes, I had a bad couple weeks. There is no denying it! But to give up on something that I am truly passionate about? It’s ludicrous.   But that is the power of negative thinking. It can take something you are deeply in love with and persuade you that you aren’t good enough. The doubts and apprehension it creates can stop you in your tracks and make you rethink everything you thought you knew.   This is where the idea of manifesting and how your thoughts and beliefs can alter your future came more and more clear.  

Related >>> Be Happy for Someone – Even When it Feels Impossible

Channel that little train

“I think I can, I think I can, I think I can…”   Do you remember this little life lesson?   And now, how many of us actually still live according to this mentality?   Probably not many. It seems to have slipped our minds as we get older. Or perhaps we find it unrelatable? But regardless, it’s important advice that needs to make its way back into our life!   For some reason, I feel like if something doesn’t come natural to us, we think that it’s just not “our thing” and we instantly give up on it and move on to the next thing. I am so guilty of this, just ask my poor husband!   We have bought knitting needles, crocheting needles, different cooking and baking paraphernalia, and the list goes on. I am so happy that nothing ever gets thrown out because I know that one day I want to do it, but time is a resource that I don’t have much of and need to work on what’s most important first. At least, that’s what I tell myself.   What I need to reassure myself constantly, is that I am not great at everything. Maybe not even good at most things, but like everything in life — you need to practice and tell yourself that you are able to do it.   The beauty of that old story is that the little engine was the least one to be able to complete the task, but because he had heart and the will, he did the job. It’s something worth thinking about!    

Practice makes perfect

This really matters in all aspects of life, which even means living with a positive attitude. Even though my negativity story is something that has hurt me, I know it will only be temporary (if I make sure of it!)   The number one motto in life that we all need to work vigorously on is, don’t let anything get us down. Although our brain is on our side, sometimes it can play tricks on us and make us feel like we don’t deserve what we’ve worked hard for!   Every thought that lingers that makes us feel unworthy or unsatisfactory, practice a method of eliminating it. Trust me when I say it takes practice because it’s a strong and convincing thought and it is relentless. It will try its hardest to persuade you, and if you’re not careful, you can become the next victim.   Practice everything that you want to succeed in life.   If it’s becoming a great knitter — practice.   Maybe you want to be a great writer — practice it!   Perhaps, it’s living a more positive life — you guess it, you need to practice it daily!   Do yourself a favor and start practicing now! Tell yourself how you can achieve something you’ve always wanted. Positivity will breed more positivity.  

YOLO – Well kind of

Being happy is easier when you are doing things you truly enjoy, but let’s face it, we are all adults here with endless responsibilities and a never ending to-do list.   The idea that we only live once is great when we want to do exciting things, but sometimes we need to also realize that life is full of not-so-fun chores and boring times when we need to make lunches for school and drive around in our cars.   But if we can alter our minds into seeing the positive in every single moment then we will be able to succeed in whatever we want. Like my story, the negative thoughts really can interrupt our life and put whatever we want to achieve on hold.   I won’t lie, when things are going great and you’re doing everything that is exciting and enjoyable, it does make it easier. Do things that make you happy, especially when you’re down in the dumps.   It will help. Trust me.

Have you ever seen a bitter successful person?

I know I will probably get a “I-told-you-so comment” but please allow me to generalize, but it will be very hard to be bitter and successful simultaneously.   That might be because it is nearly impossible to be living out your goals and dreams and also be terribly negative about life. Just rarely happens that’s all.   The next time you are feeling that sensation where you can’t do anything right, nip it in the bud and start changing your tune! It’s clear that being a bitter person will do nothing for your life other than bring yourself down and others around you.   Avoid being the black hole.   As hard as it may seem at the moment, do what you can to start creating a more positive atmosphere where you can thrive in. All that is needed is just one single action to change the path you are on.   Like my story, the negative thoughts really can interrupt our life and put whatever we want to achieve on hold. If you are strong enough to be able to think good thoughts even in the lowest moments, that is when great things will start to happen.  

Positivity breeds more positivity

This has something to do with laws of attraction.   Like attracts like.   I will be going into further detail about manifesting and laws of attraction, but not in this article! All we need to know is that if you able to be positive, then you will more likely surround yourself with more positive people.   There is more to it, but let’s just put it simply that what you put out in this world is what you will get back.    

Positivity nurtures confidence

When you are exuding positivity, it spills out as confidence and people begin to notice it. Whether you fake it or not, when you seem very sure of yourself, the confidence seems very real.   The confidence that you feel when you are being positive is intoxicating because of how strong it is! I can’t describe it because when things were all going my way, I felt that finally I knew what I was doing.   I understand now how naive that is because frankly, anything in life is never fully figured out. Ever. How cute!   It’s hard to describe this because it is more of a feeling. Try it out yourself, give it time and the results will be pleasant!    

Positivity sustains happiness

  Whether or not you are succeeding in everything that you thought you would, the positivity you embrace in life will lead you to happiness, even if you doubt it.   Happiness is a wonderful emotion. It makes us feel good and gives a reason why the agony of life is worth living! (A little dramatic 😉 )   I guess it makes a lot of sense that positivity is happiness, but we all need reminders. Positivity is more than just a reminder though. It needs to be a lifestyle that we embrace and want to live out.  

In conclusion

  To answer the question why you need a positive attitude in life has many answers with just as many benefits.   Life is all about making the best of it and that is why it’s so important to make sure your attitude matches the outcome you want.   Choose to see the positivity in life and you will be rewarded with good thoughts.  
What does it Mean to Live an Elegant Life

What does it Mean to Live an Elegant Life

WHAT DOES IT MEAN EXACTLY?

Does it mean to wear expensive and trendy clothes?

Do I have to always be the buzz-killington of the group by never doing anything fun or spontaneous?

Do I have to be a prude?  

Well…. Of course not!  

Being elegant has made me a more compassionate, more understanding and a patient person.

Being elegant has made me feel and understand what true happiness is and can be.

Being elegant does not mean you have to pick up an English accent and be everything Kate Middleton is.

Nor does it mean you must do everything perfect and correct others when they are doing something wrong.

That can’t be further from the truth.  

Being elegant and living elegantly is to figure out more about yourself than you  have before.

You will find that on your journey,  that what brings you joy may be something that you would have never believed.

It is mostly about adopting and embracing an attitude.  

CHOOSING QUALITY OVER QUANTITY

You begin to choose quality over quantity and not just in what you wear, what you eat, but also how you spend your time.   

Now I am not saying that you should stop doing everything that you don’t enjoy doing, like washing dishes.

No, they need to still get done!

But maybe instead of being angry and resentful about the chores, you change your attitude and become excited to fold your clothes or dust your bookcase! (I know that sounds crazy, but it isn’t all that far from the truth!)  

This will be a domino effect.

You will respect your belongings more.

You will appreciate everything you touch and come into contact with.

You will treat people differently because you appreciate them and the time you spend with them.  

ATTITUDE ADJUSTMENT

I can speak from experience.

Unless something was done on my terms, I did not want to do it.

If I didn’t want to clean or do things that I didn’t feel like doing, I did them with grunts and a sour attitude.

I absolutely hate how stupid that sounds, but it was how stupid I was.

I was the epitome of a child because I only wanted to do what I wanted to do and when I wanted to.

By slowly changing my attitude and realizing that my attitude had a huge impact on the rest of my day and even the people around me, I knew it needed to change for the better.

Once it did, I couldn’t believe the results!

The boring chores that I would always put off, now I loved them.

I took the opportunity to embrace the moment and allow myself to be present.  

It didn’t take just a day, I used to be someone that was always thinking, which is not necessarily a good thing.

I would always wonder if I was nice enough to that stranger or did I possibly say something stupid to my mom, that could have hurt her feelings.

Then I would feel badly and then it would affect me for the rest of the day or longer!  

BEING IN THE MOMENT

It was so terrible, not only to me but also to my husband because it would bother me and he knew something was on my mind and there was nothing that he could do.

So after some practice I was able to be more in the moment.

With much effort I would force myself to be in the moment.

I sometimes would have to talk in my head and narrate to myself what I was doing in order to keep myself present.

When you read about it, they make it sound so easy!

And when you read about it, it does make sense and as soon as I would put that book down I would forget everything!

The good thing is that with daily practice and learning, it actually does get easier.

Plus after the effects of it you feel, you will want to keep trying.

It really can be achieved, just don’t give up!

For your own sake, try to spend some time of your day in the moment. It really will help you now, and in your future.

LONG STORY SHORT….

So in conclusion, to live an elegant life is a lifestyle that means:

  • You choose quality over quantity 
  • You live more in the moment 
  • You find out what truly you enjoy and what you waste your time on
  • You celebrate everyday because you are alive and don’t take anything for granted 
  • Boring chores become something you love because it humbles you and is a good time to be present 
  • You know you are a beautiful, wonderful, and self-confident woman 
  • You have stunning posture, are proud of yourself and it shows


Practice makes perfect.

Enjoy the journey and watch yourself blossom into the women you’ve always wanted to be.

Embrace your elegance.

14 Ways How Being Elegant Changed My Life – And How Yours Can too

14 Ways How Being Elegant Changed My Life – And How Yours Can too

When I began on this journey, I had no idea how much it would change the way I am. It truly has. Being elegant changed my life, and for the better! There are a few things I have realized that living an elegant life really has transformed me and my life. I want to share them with you in hopes that maybe you can agree with me.

 Being Elegant Changed My Life

  1. I feel like it started to change the way I perceived people in my life. I didn’t take anybody for granted anymore.

Everyone has something to offer. Even a little child who so badly wants to carry on an adult conversation has something to teach you. It could be to be patient,  it could be to be more understanding, but whatever it is, it is something for you to learn from. There are many times in my day (especially if you work with the public) that you just start to get frustrated with people. That you don’t want to see or talk to another person for the rest of the day. This happened to me quite often before, and I am not going to lie, it still happens now. However, I have to think to myself, “What can I learn from this person?” Everyone has something to offer to someone else. It is up you whether or not you want to see it.

2.   I started to slow down. I saw things that I used to not notice before.

I wanted to experience things more passionately and fully, so in order to do so, I had to slow down. This made me aware of things I was missing out. One example is when I was driving the other day, some person clearly in a rush cut me off and decided to speed. As that was happening I noticed the most beautiful pink sky at the horizon that if I was rushing I would have completely missed the beautiful surrounding. When you slow down you will notice and appreciate the little things that once before are taken for granted. Another good example is people who live near mountains, or in other beautiful countries. For the tourists, it is something to be admired to take pictures and to be remembered. But for the people that live there, it is simply just another day, and nothing to think twice about.

3) I became more aware of my body, its movements.

When I started adopting my elegant lifestyle and slowed down I also tried to be more deliberate about my movements. I didn’t want to be swinging around or not be in control of my own limbs. I didn’t want to be labeled as a spaz. So in order to remain as elegant as possible I decided to pay more attention to my actions. When I got up, I did so using my muscles in my torso and legs. I didn’t just bounce up out of my seat with my arms just swinging behind me. What ever I did, I did so mindfully, that way to prevent any sort of image of me not being in control. This also span into other parts of my life, a big one for me was getting in and out of my car. It is so easy to just plop down n your car seat. But instead try doing it the lady like way. By being gentle, deliberate, and by slowly doing one move at a time. This takes practice, but one you get the hang of it it becomes second nature and the next thing you know, you’re in control f your body and not flailing around.

4) I became more interested in what I was putting into my body, through food, entertainment, watched, read..

This one I found took more time to adapt to. Since becoming elegant, I knew that my late night binge eating of fast food is over. Not because I was no longer allowed to eat junk. No. But because I cared too much about the way I feel. I hated feeling like I was hung over the next day when all I did was have a burger or two. When you start feeling great, the last thing you want to do is feel disgusting again. So you start eating more healthy and it doesn’t seem like a chore. You naturally just want to. This also means that because you respect your body more, you also don’t want to subject it to anything that could possibly dumb you down. Your entertainment might change from watching reality television to possibly some national geographic or something to learn from. You aren’t changing what you are watching because you WANT TO BE elegant. No, you change what you are watching and what you find entertaining because you ARE elegant. You just start to find what you used to like off-putting and not be interested in it any more. You slowly become more refined.

5) I made an effort to anticipate elegance.

When you start to become more elegant,  it starts to rub off on to other parts of your life. You don’t want something to misrepresent you. Therefore, you won’t have your house a complete chaos. You think in the back of your head, “How would you feel if someone you knew saw your house/your outfit/ your car that way?” Would you be proud of it? These are important questions because when  you are anticipating elegance,  you are able to let go of other worries and be more present and engaged with the people you are with. Anticipating elegance is a great way to feel ready for anything. It can bring you so much confidence that other people recognize it and admire it about you. Ways you can anticipate elegance is by leaving the room the same way you entered. Before you leave the house, you make sure that everything you are wearing is exactly what you want and that you are happy with it. The list goes on and on but I think you get my drift. By anticipating elegance, you are getting yourself ready for the unexpected. You are understanding that anything can happen and anyone can just drop in and by trying to be ready for it, you appear for elegant and put together. 

6) I started to care more about how I was perceived to others.

This is not to be confused with caring too much about what others think about you. No, but it isn’t too far away from it either. You want others to think very good of you, That you are kind and would give the shirt off your back. By achieving this, you actually have to do it. You must start to be generous and kind and be patient when it is called for. Perception is reality and how people look at you is exactly how people will know you. So if you think, no I am elegant and because I say I am and act like it, well than others will think I am. But it is not how you explain it or tell people. It is when  you don’t speak  that has the most influence.. It is when others are in need and how you come to their aid. It is the small gestures that people will always remember.

7) I try to keep my emotions in check…don’t give other people the power to control my emotions.

Another way of having control over your body is to not allow someone to have the power over you to make you said or happy or feel anything that you aren’t ready for. By not allowing someone to do this than you again have control over your feelings. You can’t get hurt by someone who doesn’t control your feelings. You can’t feel happy or sad for anybody else but yourself. It’s very hard to remain elegant when you are flying off the handle. And this is something that I struggle with often. But with persistence, I am only getting better. Soon, hopefully it will be a thing of the past!

8) I took care of things I owned, no matter how expensive they were

Becoming elegant has made me appreciate everything that I do have. Whether or not they are worth anything, but to me, because they are my belongings, I will treat them as such. A great example is sunglasses. Before I would always either lose them, sit on them, scratch them, drop them, really anything can happen to them. But after I started on my journey, I now take care of them. I cherish them as mine and because of that I take great care. I only clean them with the appropriate cloth. I keep them in their case. I also don’t just leave them laying around. This is a result because I started to live elegantly. I would think, if they were more expensive sunglasses, would I treat them as such? No. So why is it okay to treat them like they are worthless? Suffice it to say, after my journey I now have purchased a very good quality pair because I have shown to myself that I can do it. I can take care of anything of mine, regardless of price. Because I look at the worth. I appreciate everything I have and I realized how hard I had to work to get everything of mine. Because I now have a better understanding, I will respect everything of mine, even dollar store items, because frankly, it isn’t how much it costs.

9) I cared about others and their feelings, which in turn had more people caring about me

Since I take into consideration what others would feel either about a situation or someone I care about how they feel. I don’t make assumptions or think that this is how someone should be. Instead I take a more understanding and compassionate route and because people notice that I am not forcing them into a thought, they start to respect me and my ideas. People will start to ask me genuinely about things bothering them or other personal matters and I will give them straight up true answers.  But instead of people shrugging it off, they take validity with it and think they can learn something. It’s nice to care for people, but it is nicer to know that people equally care for you as well. It’s the same as it’s great to be in love, BUT to be loved is another better feeling. 

10) I wanted to keep bettering myself.

This could mean so many different ways. There is more learning, more money being earned, more life living. It can wrap it all up together and it depends on who you are. But the main story here is that no matter who you are, there is always room for improvement. There is always a way to find different methods to better yourself. You must find what interests you and how you can improve on it. You’ve always wanted to learn another language, well this is the perfect time to. You want to stay current with everything happening in your city or country. Fine with me. This is a spectacular way that living elegantly has changed my life, you really are never too old to keep learning. And the moment you stop learning is the moment you are dead. So, think of everyday as an opportunity to be smarter than you were yesterday.

11) I had a sense of self-confidence that I never thought I had before

After becoming elegant I have become more confident even with strangers. This is not to be confused with cocky or arrogance. This is strictly that once you have developed some elegance you become confident in what you are doing. Who you are meeting and when  you look at them  you are not ashamed of who you are or where you work.  The confidence is very obvious and everyone can see it. It I always see how people on social media look like they are living the high life but in reality they are anyone else. It is a very attractive and gravitating personality trait to have.

12) I allowed myself to sound smarter instead of lower my standards

I didn’t let myself sound stupid for the sake of keeping someone else interested in what I had to say. This one is an obvious one. Don’t think that in order to attract more people in a conversation is to act like you don’t know. I am not quite sure where that became popular and acceptable but it isn’t. There is nothing sexier than someone who can have an intellectual conversation rather than wasting time talking about celebrities and the crazy names they are coming up with for their children. Don’t feel that you need to dumb yourself down to fit in. By not doing so might help others feel that they shouldn’t either. But at the same time don’t put people down if they don’t understand what  you are saying.

 

13) I started choosing quality over quantity.

This another obvious one but is needed to be mentioned. This can be related to so many different aspects of your life. Even when it comes to your time spent. You understand your life is short and want it to be the best it can. Essentially, stop wasting time.  In regard to every aspect in life, choose quality because it always wins out in the end.  

14) I started realizing what was really important to me.

By choosing quality over quantity, you start noticing how you spend most of your time. This is helpful when you want to learn more about yourself. You start seeing that you spend a lot of time with your siblings and your other family. You would rather be doing something along those lines, like having a great experience than just sitting alone in your house. It’s a great feeling that once you understand yourself more that you start seeing what is really important to you, and this usually involves family and vacation but maybe it could also be that morning walk or your evening bath. Fill your day with everything you enjoy. This will bring you happiness and fulfillment.

15) Bonus: All the mundane and boring chores, now become something you look forward to.

Since you find the happiness in the smallest of all things, you have trained your mind to find pure bliss from something so unlikely. This is a skill that can be honed and is very likely to be one of the best as you age.   There is always someone who changes you.  Somewhere in your life that makes you realize what you want to be like. I would call this a very pivotal moment and you can’t ignore it. I am sure there isn’t just one moment in life, but there are many and you need to be aware of them so that you can make the best of it.   Anything I am saying here, anyone can achieve. This is why living elegantly is so wonderful because everyone has the option to bettering themselves. It also means that everyone had a chance to live their life to the fullest, what ever that may mean for them. It is very personal and yet only you know the true answer. So look inside yourself and see what you can change or improve on to become the most elegant woman you know.    No matter who you are you really never got there alone. There was always someone there that was influencing you and I want you to be that for someone else. I want you to influence someone that makes them feel that they should be more elegant.   Make the change over to living an elegant life and see how it changes you for the better. It is remarkable how much joy of life. Try it today. Let me know how it feels. Has any one of you ladies ever changed your life to living more elegant and seen any changes? Do you have anything to add?     Until next time   Keep it elegant!   This is not a sponsored post  
How to Be Elegant: Be Your Best

How to Be Elegant: Be Your Best

An Elegant woman acts as if someone is watching

 
10.    Acts as if someone is watching, even if no one is.
  This is one of my favorites. Be your best.   Essentially, that is what this is all about. If you are always on your best behavior whether you are around people or not then you will have nothing to worry about.   If it sounds so easy, then why is it hard?   Well that is simply because we get lazy.   Sometimes we will put up a front when we are around people, then when we are alone or think we are, that’s when the real us come out. This is where it can get a little messy because you don’t want to be phony. There shouldn’t be a switch on and off button for your elegance or for being a decent person.   It should just be you all the time. You should be your best with every passing moment.   In this post, I will be talking about how to stop separating your two selves and how easy it can be to be your best all the time!   Welcome to my second installment of my series,  

How to be Elegant

  … an elegant woman always acts her best, even if no one is watching.  

______

  In this series, I go through each of my 101 Ways of an Elegant Woman post, going more in detail about how to be elegant.

Be Your Best Self

We all know the importance of being a good person.   We hear it all the time and read countless posts about how it is vital to our own lives to always be working on ourselves. However, once we are out of the spotlight and no one is around, we let our “old” selves back out.   Or even worse, we let it out with our families.   What usually always happens is that we start to feel like fake people. It might work for a while, but eventually, we feel like when we are out and being elegant and graceful, that it is a facade that we must carry on. Once we are home, we change into less than presentable clothes and can be short tempered with our families.   We justify it by thinking that they are our families and will always love us no matter what. Yes, this is true. However, they do deserve the same respect that you give to outside people.      

Who’s the real you?

When  you are flipping back and forth from the private and public version of you, it can really get exhausting.   Odds are, you will not be able to keep up the two acts. Because that is really what they are. You are acting.   It’s funny when you are by yourself and you are just about to do something, say, drink the rest of the milk out of the cereal bowl, you would have to stop because imagine doing that in front of someone else? Most likely you wouldn’t.   The reason it is so important to truly ask yourself who the real you is and who you want to be because if you are consistently faking, then eventually it will get too difficult and you will quit. You need to be authentic and true to yourself. Sure, there are times when you need to fake it or fluff it up a little, but the core values are there. Who you want to be and you think you can be are two very different ideas.   Take some time and find our your core values and by embracing those plus trying to enhance them is how you can find who you truly are. The real you.  

You might be interested: 14 Ways How Being Elegant Changed My Life – And How Yours Can too

     

How to be your best self everyday

It can be a little different for each person, but it is equally important to find what it is that makes us great.   However, there are a few points that every woman can and should take. ______  

Treat your body right

I talk about this often but that is because I find it so important on so many different levels.   I like to talk about self-care. It can be a wonderful way to add love into your day. From taking a healthier snack to getting an extra half hour of sleep, even spending a few minutes stretching. Every single good thing you do for yourself is self-care and treating your body right.   I can understand and empathize if you’re a busy mom with hardly any time to go to the bathroom in peace, but the beauty of treating yourself right is that even the smallest and most insignificant moments can be huge and monumental.   Only have minutes to spare while everyone is playing quietly? Give yourself a little hand massage with some cream. Maybe drink a big tall glass of water and feel every cell in your body being bathed by hydration.   Out in public and waiting until they call your name? Read something inspirational, sit quietly and think about how lucky you are. There are so many ways that you can enhance every minute and make yourself better. It’s easy to be your best when you’re taking care of yourself.   ______  

Start with a morning routine

It really doesn’t need to be much of a routine, but one that helps you start your day off in a great mood. It is not necessary to be up hours before your household or even be incredibly productive the first 20 minutes your up. Instead, it is about seeing what you truly need and then doing it.   As women, we often want to make sure that everyone else’s needs are met and then we look to ourselves. While this may be just the way it is, we can’t neglect ourselves. Our sanity is our family’s sanity. If we start to pay more attention to our needs, it will help us greatly and it will be easier to be your best.  

Read a bit more: 7 Best Morning Habits

______

Put in all your effort with everything you do

Sounds like it might be too much work.   And it might possibly be. It gets exhausting to be trying all the time, but let me tell you a little secret… even if you’re not trying, you’re trying.   We are always doing something, even if it is nothing, and it is up to us to make every moment count. When we go out to the store to pick up something and we are in our house clothes or pajamas, we can decide to dress up or not. We are always making the decision to be our best or not to. .   The same goes with friendships, cooking, cleaning, careers, pretty much you can fill the blank in with anything here! It will always work out that way. Do your absolute best, put in all the effort you need to, and you will be repaid in full and more afterwards!   If we try to put in a positive effort in everything we do, only positivity will ensue and of course, that means you will be your best and who can deny that?!   ______  

Plan out your day

Everyone always has things that need to get done.   Sometimes they slip your mind, or if you don’t want to do it, you’ll keep pushing it aside. We’ve all done this, but there’s something about putting it down on paper that makes you not forget! It also prevents you from procrastinating too much either.   Planning out your day actually gives you the freedom and the time to get more done. This helps you be your best self because you are more productive which gives you such a wonderful feeling at the end of the night.   ______  

But… Be flexible

I know I just said to plan out your day, but you can’t be too rigid. It’s off-putting and can cause you more stress. To be your best  you need to be able to be flexible.   Nothing can put a damper on someone’s day than a nagging person who is complaining that things didn’t go as planned (I should know, I used to be one of those!) For your own sanity, may I suggest trying to go with the flow and see that sometimes plans get shifted for a reason. Try to enjoy it and take every minute as it is.   It’s a very charming quality to be able to be spontaneous and allow things to not go as planned.

In conclusion

Be your best at all times and eventually it will come natural. By acting as if someone is watching, then you will never feel like a phony or a fake.   Also, some terrible habits that can form when alone may sneak into your day when you are around someone. It just gets incredibly exhausting to always be thinking of what to do and what not to do depending  on who your company is.   Just be yourself, but be your best self and you’ll be pleasantly surprised at how nice it is to be yourself all the time. No trying hard when people are around and letting it all loose in front of your family. No.   By following a few of these tips and also the drive to want to better yourself every single day, it should not be that difficult to be your best self, the effort is minimal but the pay off is huge!   I truly believe that by being a woman who doesn’t change her behavior whether she is with people or alone can allow you to feel like you really are the real deal. An elegant woman in and out.     If you can act as if someone is watching, you may never do anything you’ll regret. That is a characteristic of an elegant woman.
  10.    Acts as if someone is watching, even if no one is.
 

How to Be Elegant – Be Your Best

Elegant Woman Basics- Confidence: How to Boost Self Confidence and Gain Self Esteem

Elegant Woman Basics- Confidence: How to Boost Self Confidence and Gain Self Esteem

Self Confidence

Importance of Self Confidence

Self Confidence

It’s attainable by everyone, yes, even you.

You yourself, as much as anyone in the entire universe deserves your love and affection  

Buddha

I remember as a child being told to always hold my head up high. 

 

To always have confidence in myself and everything I do. I never really understood the importance of self confidence until I grew up and tried living my life elegantly.

 

I wanted to be confident

 

But having low self esteem would not work. There was always doubt in my mind that I wasn’t good enough. I rarely ever looked good enough and those few moments where I was content – they never lasted very long. 

 

Looking back, it was a sad existence. But what I think is more sad, honestly, is that this feeling of inadequacy is not an isolated event. Many women live every day with low self esteem, no confidence and feelings of never being good enough! 

 

The good thing is that I realized it didn’t have to be like that. I didn’t have to continue with low self esteem, but I needed to find out what causes lack of self confidence. 

 

So naturally, I began looking at the beginning. My childhood. 

 

Was it my upbringing? 

 

Perhaps it was my school life? 

 

Could it have been my choice in friends?

 

Or, was it none of the above and it was a personal hoop that I would have to jump through in order to become the woman I was meant to? 

 

Before I jump to any conclusions, I needed to understand confidence a little bit more. I wanted to know how to get confidence. 

This post contains affiliate links and if you purchase anything on these links I may receive a small compensation.

Self Confidence

What is Self Confidence and Why is it Important

It’s funny because for something as important as self confidence, it is hard to describe, and even harder to obtain. 

 

Does it mean to be sure of oneself? 

 

All the time?

 

Are you born with it?

 

Perhaps it is to understand who he or she is? 

 

Or something as simple as just accepting oneself as whoever they are, regardless of what that may be? Without any regard to change. 

 

I want to believe they are all right, to some degree. 

 

I think I can safely say every day the definition changes a bit. Although the dictionary definition remains unaltered, the way self confidence feels and lives changes – constantly. 

 

What is confidence?

 

It’s about trusting yourself with what comes your way, not that you’ll know exactly what to do, but that you can depend on yourself that everything will be okay. It’s that reassuring voice in your head saying that “you are enough!”. Your focus isn’t on what you lack or what you’re missing – but on what you have and what you can do with it. 

 

Why is it Important? 

 

Simple. 

 

In order to live a fulfilled and elegant life, self confidence is that piece of the puzzle that you need. Where when you combine it with the other elegant traits can and will enhance your life. There are less regrets, less doubts and more moments of happy self reflection. 

 

To be more specific, confidence is essential for elegance because it radiates off of you all day long. People notice something different about you, they will respect you more. And I am pretty sure you will know from life experience that demanding respect is not an easy feat. 

 

Having confidence prevents you from overthinking, fixating, and obsessing. 

 

I don’t know about you, but when you do something that you feel stupid about, it keeps replaying over and over again. Now that is far from living an elegant life. Living elegantly gives you that beautiful freedom from that. I used to be terrible with obsessing over any stupid or embarrassing moment. But with focusing on increasing my elegance, my confidence grew and I barely fixate on anything negative. 

 

I’ve read this book, and for those struggling with confidence and want to make a difference in your life, I would highly suggest it! It’s short chapters make it easy to read, even on the go! I felt really inspired after this one.

Self Confidence

Confidence Tips

1) Remember no one cares. 

 

2) There is no right or wrong way to be confident. Do whatever feels right and comes natural.

 

3) Everyone is beautiful. On those “bad days”, remember that there is something enticing about you. Never feel truly ugly because you are not! 

 

4) Get outside of yourself. When we are trying to fix ourselves, we are so focused on ourselves that it can consume us and we get frustrated. Remember that, although we are important, at the same time we are tiny, There is a big world out there with more problems. Sometimes when I change my mind frame this way, my bad day doesn’t seem as bad.

 

5) Clean. Yup, organize your closet. Get rid of clutter and you will feel a million times better. 

 

6) Compliment someone else. Genuinely I might add. The high of doing this will stick with you longer and you’ll feel wonderful. 

 

Self Confidence

Be Confident

Sounds easy enough? 

 

But sadly it takes a bit more effort that just thinking about it. It is a decision about your lifestyle, it’s about the way you want to live. But most importantly it’s wanting to truly accept the freedom and not be afraid. 

 

It’s crazy to say that some women are scared to live their life with confidence – because it can be difficult. It’s easy to hide behind something that is not completely real. I know how this might sound – like it doesn’t make much sense. But choosing to live with confidence can be very rewarding, It can be the difference between being happy, content, and feeling fulfilled. 

 

The false idea is that it is easier to live a lie a facade, then it is to be the quirky woman you are. You see it over and over again when people start living their truth, the burden is lifted off and they are free. 

 

Why do You Need Self Confidence

 

Imagine this scenario, you need to run some errands at a local store, or go see a friend for coffee and be terrified at the idea of leaving.

 

Not because you’re afraid of going outside – but because you are too scared of what others will think.

 

How you’ll be judged is too much to bear. 

 

You’ll be too wrapped in the idea that what others think, putting their thoughts and considerations ahead of your own. 

 

Even strangers. 

 

You might think that I am exaggerating, that it is a rare scenario. And I would have agreed with you, but talking more and more to people I am seeing that it’s their reality. Their confidence is so shattered and weak that one “bad” stare could ruin them for the entire day. That’s why I feel like this post needs to be written and shared. We need to lift each other up. 

 

It can become this heavy and debilitating weight on your shoulders and if you don’t get ahold of it, it can truly ruin your life. You’ll be forever seeking not only approval but everything from others. 

 

You won’t be happy unless you get the recognition and approval of others. Which you can never control. 

 

As I’ve mentioned before, it becomes an obsession that can be all consuming. 

 

This is a dangerous road to follow for a couple of reasons. One that your “true friends” aren’t actually true friends and they’ll tell you what you want to hear until they decide that that’s enough. It can lead to more loneliness, which affects your confidence even more! 

 

Two, you might have very judging and jealous friends that try to bring everyone down to their level of “happiness”. Which means that they’ll say anything good or bad, to help themselves. These “friends” are suffering themselves from a lack of self esteem and self love. 

 

You don’t need to avoid them, but take everything they say with a grain of salt. 

 

If you’re not confident in yourself, it changes the way people look at you. 

 

The way you treat yourself mirrors how you expect others to treat you. 

 

Expect more. Receive more. 

 

You need self confidence because you’re worth it. You deserve to live the life you love. To live with excitement, passion and joy. You do that by embracing yourself with all your flaws and quirks. 

 

The life you want is possible only when you have the confidence to live it! 

 

Love yourself because it isn’t someone else’s job – that is why you need self confidence! 

 

 

Another great book, especially if you find yourself shy or awkward. It talks mainly about being an introvert and how that is NOT a bad thing. I love the idea of taking something you might think is a negative, and making it your great power! Great book for those who are introverts or are really close to one. Will change your life!

Self Confidence

Can Confidence Be Taught?

The answer is YES! 

 

Which is the best news I can give you because that means you have the power inside of yourself! 

 

You can choose to boost yourself every single day, or to knock yourself down.

 

It’s all a matter of your personal choice. 

 

Now, this may seem wildly easy to put down on paper, even to start at home. Feeling like you have the confidence at home (where no one is around), is an amazing start! Going out in the real world may take more effort because it is terrifying! That’s where the people are with their judgemental brains! 

 

I find it amazing the power we give to complete strangers.

 

When we look at the mirror and we genuinely like what we see, all is needed to ruin the day is a weird sideways stare from a stranger to make us second guess our decision to wear that shirt we love.

 

An elegant woman has the confidence in herself to accept any stares (good or bad, or even neutral!) and take them with a grain of salt.

 

Because frankly, that’s what they are – but our insecure part of our brain can take over and start chirping in our ear. What is it saying? 

 

If you listen carefully, it is usually saying the same few things. 

 

It is going through our rolodex of insecurities, and reading them to us until we believe them. 

 

It’s happened to me, to my mom, my sister, my friends, and I’m sure it has happened to you. 

 

If you can understand that your confidence begins when you minimize your insecurities then you’ll have a gushing fountain of confidence that won’t run dry! Confidence can be taught by simply repeating the truth that you are an amazing woman. 

 

That you are too beautiful for words. The truth that the world would not be the same without you. Now the hard part? 

 

Allowing yourself to believe it. 

 

Self Confidence

Is Confidence a Skill?

Seeing as confidence can be taught then I would assume that it is a skill. A life skill to be exact. It is useful in so many areas in life where being confident will open doors and opportunities. 

 

A skill is something you must practice in order to get better or not lose it. 

 

The same applies for maintaining your confidence through the hard times in your life – all the way until the end. 

 

But who really wants something else to work on? 

 

I realize it doesn’t sound riveting, but it isn’t something you need to take time out of your day. This is something, a choice, you make all day long. Your mentality, your choices, your thoughts, it all should be peppered with the idea that you are an elegant woman.

 

An elegant woman who is sure of herself. You are an elegant woman of confidence. 

 

The hardest part about learning and honing a skill is the lack of practice.

 

We take other skills and try to become better at them. We put more importance on cooking, working, driving — why not confidence? 

 

I would consider it a life skill that needs to be one of yours. 

 

You need to do it often enough that it becomes second nature. In order to start perfecting your skill, I think we need to understand the first steps of building self confidence. 

 

Building Self Confidence

 

I like to think of building self confidence is comparable to a ladder.

 

You need to get their one step at a time. You can’t reach the top without slowly going through the whole ladder. 

 

One big flaw that I’ve seen too many people suffer from is changing too much too fast

 

This happens all the time when people go on diets or want to have a lifestyle change. I  understand the idea, if you want to do something then you’re all in – but it can be too difficult. 

 

We are a delicate species who don’t like change – so be gentle.

 

Unfortunately, too many of us fail, feel utterly defeated and give up (me).

 

This is a vicious cycle!

 

Trust me, I’ve been through this many times. I decided to take things slower, realize life happens slowly so a drastic change should be the same as well. 

 

The takeaway: Building self confidence takes time. Love yourself and be patient, it will come. 

Self Confidence

How to Build Self Confidence

To start building self confidence, look to yourself and write a list of everything you like about yourself. 

 

Pretend that you’re writing a list if you were your friend, sometimes it’s easier to say good things about others than yourself.

 

Be easy on yourself. If you are struggling, that is okay. 

 

If you are on a path to loving yourself deeper, be patient and always give yourself grace. 

 

It may take some more effort because it can be that you are rewiring your brain from self-loathing to self love. 

 

Let’s examine the list.

 

See how many wonderful qualities that you possess. 

 

Now, everytime you begin to doubt yourself or feel not good enough, read this list over and over again. Especially if you are going through a break-up, for example, and he leaves you broken hearted – look at that list. He left a person who is (insert good quality). 

 

It would sound like this: 

 

He left a person who is loyal, he didn’t want someone who was respectful and loving. He would rather not be with someone who is supportive.  

 

You see what happened there? 

 

You took what was something that was hurtful and turned it around with your amazing qualities. There are SO many people out there that would LOVE to be with a woman who was loyal, respectful, loving and supportive. The way you think about yourself may need to be rewired, but the good thing is, it can be. 

 

Another effective way to gain confidence in yourself is to put your life into perspective. In more than one way. Not only with what is important, but also in how others see and think of you. How many times have you thought about how stupid you felt doing something and how the other people thought of you? 

 

First let’s just think of it like this. How much of YOUR day do you spend criticizing and judging others? Even if they aren’t around? Is it very often? I am going to assume no, not really. 

 

Now, how much of your day do you spend critiquing yourself? Or thinking of how embarrassing you are out in public? I am going to safely assume more often. 

 

If I am right, then you just proved a good point. 

 

No one is sitting there just judging you. 

 

Let this sink in.

 

Let this penetrate your mind! 

 

No matter how stupid you felt, no one is just sitting there stewing in your stupidity. Only you are. 

 

Not convinced? How about another example is when you feel insecure because of the clothes you choose to wear that day. In reality, no one really notices. There isn’t very many people that care more about others than themselves. Think about it this way, do you judge others with what they are wearing? Now the ones that you do, and actually take time out of your day to be “concerned” about it, chances are that you are secretly jealous. 

 

No need to beat yourself up about it, but try to remember that next time someone else is making you feel insecure, it is most likely because you look amazing and they are secretly wishing they looked as good as you!

 

As rude as that sounds, there is a freedom that comes with that. 

 

Don’t fall into the trap where you need to please others more than yourself. 

 

Realize and allow to make yourself happy. If that means not following the norm – then so be it! By treading your water a little differently will make you shine and only build your confidence! 

 

But as a quick note: When I refer to not caring about others, I’m talking about their thoughts and opinions (the ones that don’t matter). 

 

Being elegant is about having the confidence to wear what YOU want and feeling good in YOUR own skin. But always try to make others feel good about themselves. Especially when you know they are insecure fragile beings just as we can be.

 

Thirdly, building self confidence is about self love. 

 

When you boil it down, that is all what it is all about. By practicing positive self talk, you are able to see what the low signs of confidence are and try to work on them! 

 

Self Confidence

What are the Signs of Low Confidence?

The crazy thing about confidence is that one day you can be confident, give yourself all the positive self talk, and be the definition of self confidence – and one stupid thing can have you start doubting yourself. 

 

Many times we confuse people with self confidence with nothing affecting them, and while that is not entirely false, it does mean that little things aren’t going to shake them terribly.

 

But sometimes too much confidence can be the opposite. It’s called overcompensation and I’ll be referring to this later. 

 

But before I get into how to have confidence, what are the signs of low confidence? 

 

Here’s one that is almost always present: Lie, constantly. 

 

1) Doubting and questioning everything

  • Even for no reason, you constantly feel that you’re not good enough
  • It doesn’t even matter if someone compliments you or says something flattering — you don’t believe it.  

 

2) You walk a little hunched over 

  • Yup, it’s true. When you have a lack of self confidence you tend to make yourself smaller.  You look down more and therefore you hunch over. 
  • When you’re struggling with self-esteem, you don’t walk proud. Even if you try to fix it and remind yourself to stand straight, if you don’t fix the root of the problem, then you will again be walking hunched over. 

 

3) You think everyone is talking about you – even if it doesn’t make sense. 

  • No matter what the circumstance is, you think that people around you are making fun of you.
  • Even if they aren’t talking – you think that they are mentally judging you. It isn’t logical. 
  • It creates a state of insecurity that can be paralyzing because there isn’t a clear reason – it is all fabricated. No amount of outside reassuring will fix this. 

 

4) You have bad fashion sense, at least in your eyes. 

  • Think back to when you were feeling a little blue, I can almost guarantee that you didn’t put that much effort into your looks.
  • Partly because you don’t want to look in the mirror and other part is you don’t feel that you deserve to look nice. I realize this sounds very mean, but it is true, 

 

5) You don’t care what you eat, or how you feel 

  • To be more specific, you disregard the consequences of what eating poorly can do to your body. A good example is when you overeat you feel terrible, but you don’t really care. 
  • You may even feel that you don’t deserve to look good or feel good. 
  • The way that you treat yourself is how you feel. You feel amazing, you’ll eat amazing (the opposite is true too) 

 

There are many more traits of having no self confidence or low self esteem, but the main factor is that you are telling yourself lies

 

Lies that you’re not beautiful enough, skinny enough, funny enough, tall enough, short enough, basically you repeat the lies that you’re not good enough in different ways.

 

Another sad similarity is that you feel that you don’t deserve (fill in the blank).

 

But the good thing about this is that we can work on it! Your mentality can change.

 

If one of these sounds familiar or something that you do, don’t be discouraged because you can and will improve your confidence. These attributes will be a thing of the past. 

 

It is possible and I know you can do it! 

 

 

Here is another book made for women by women. If you’re trying to succeed in the world this book is a must! It’s not enough to just have talent and skills, but to have the confidence to back it up!

Self Confidence

What is the Difference Between Confidence and Overconfidence?

True, overconfidence is something that is quite rare in real life. You might be shaking your head in disagreement, but hear me out! 

 

One thing that I’ve learned in my life, is that when someone is overcompensating, it’s usually because the opposite is true. 

 

Let me give you an example. Let’s say you are going out with a friend who keeps referring to how much money they have – chances are high that they are eyeball deep in debt. The need for overcompensation  is a very accurate indicator of something that they are lacking. I want to believe it’s some self-preservation thing.

 

So you might be asking, overconfidence is usually following the same pattern? 

 

Most likely, yes. 

 

However there is a rare type of person that is truly overconfident. They are usually a narcissist and they believe that everything they do is amazing, they do exist out there. But for the sake of this post, I’m not referring to those few — but to the majority. 

 

When someone is an overconfident person, they are compensating for something. Ironically, they are usually self-conscious about what they are being extra confident.

 

Being confident is where you can trust yourself. Where you know you are good. That you don’t need outside validation. 

 

I guess to be brutally simple, having confidence is inner validation, overconfidence is seeking outside validation with the responses of others. 

 

Self Confidence

Why Confidence is the Key to Success

For almost everything in life, if you have confidence, you will succeed. 

 

It’s the slight arrogance that people see and respect. 

 

By using the word arrogance it almost seems wrong, even as I write this it doesn’t feel like the right word. There is a fine line to follow because you don’t want to be a “know-it-all” or for lack of a better word, a jerk. 

 

So what is the fine line?

 

It’s exactly where you aren’t threatening, boring other people, or having them tune you out. Watching others can be a great clue to how you are behaving. 

 

But having just the right amount of confidence means people will listen and engage with you. They will feel like looking up to you and be interested in what you have to say.

 

That is why confidence is the key to success. 

 

The level of attention you will receive is perfect. Confidence can also be seen as a form of respect, a self-respect. This respect is magnified and radiates from you. 

 

When you respect yourself, a few things happen. Your standards rise. From what you expect from others, to what you expect from yourself. Another bonus is you show people how to treat you – what you deem acceptable. 

 

Success is measured in what you have accomplished, and if having the respect of others is already done, then I’d say you succeeded in a place where people would consider very different. 

 

Self Confidence

How Can You Tell if Someone is Confident?

One piece of advice that I don’t always agree on is “Fake it till you make it”.

 

But I suppose it could work in this circumstance. Whenever you start feeling yourself recede into your old ways – you can adopt a more confident demeanor – just don’t overcompensate.

 

So, you ask yourself, “How can you tell if someone is confident?” then you are able to mimic their body language, the way they talk and move. 

 

The first thing you would notice is their walk and/or stance. She is proud, she is sure of herself and rarely doubts the way she is. This could mean her outfit, her jewelry, her hairstyle and make up. She is unapologetically her. 

 

She is elegant.

 

There is an ease with her body language, her movements, the way she exists in her day. It might be hard to put your finger on it – but it is there. It seems effortless, mainly because it is. 

 

Her confidence is high so her doubt is nonexistent. 

 

Another trait of confidence is her speaking is different. 

 

She isn’t necessarily loud – because she doesn’t demand attention that way. 

 

She knows that she doesn’t need to get people to listen to her by forcing others to hear her. Not only with the level of her voice, but also is what she is saying. 

 

Is she gossiping? 

 

Does she need to put people down to bring herself up? 

 

A confident woman would never dream of hurting someone’s feelings to make herself feel better. Pay attention when another elegant woman speaks – it’s never insulting, never pushy, or desperate. It is mainly complimenting, honest and genuine. 

 

Another way to point out confidence is to see if there is any form of overcompensation. In every single way. Expensive jewelry? Foreign car that is super expensive? Verbally explaining how smart they are, they lack the self confidence. 

 

An important detail to remember that confidence is not black and white.

 

There are many variables that can determine how confident someone is. The women might be extremely confident in her job, that they are capable enough – but they might utterly hate the extra twenty pounds on their waste. 

 

There is always room for improvement. 

 

To be frank, I’ve never bought this book but I can only think this would be very good. This book really has indepth methods to help encouragement and keep yourself confident!

Self Confidence

Can Confidence Make You Attractive

Yes. 

 

Next. 

 

No, I’m joking – but it is very true. 

 

Confidence, a trait that can make you beautiful but can also tear you down. 

 

There is that gray zone again. 

 

If you’re over confident you will look like a jerk. Bt the perfect amount of confidence will make you unstoppable.

 

What is it exactly that when you see an elegant woman who is confident that she draws you in? 

 

You see a woman who knows she is beautiful. She doesn’t have the desperate or sad tone of her voice. 

 

You can ask yourself, “do you find confident people attractive?” I bet your answer is yes. 

 

But we can easily reverse the statement and ask “why don’t you find self conscious people attractive?” You might try to be extra sensitive to others and say “well of course, I would, as long as they are nice.”

 

And you might be genuine, but that can only last for so long. 

 

The need for reassurance, the jealousy, the wrong placed anger, the guilt trips and even worse, the manipulation will transform even the most beautiful woman. Now, I am no psychologist, but many relationships hit very rocky roads because one of them is not confident in themselves. 

 

So, understanding how a lack of confidence can turn off some one, it proves how strong an indicator that confidence can be for attractive qualities. 

 

Even if you never knew the person, or spoke to them, confidence is still easily spotted. It is an aura. 

 

Confidence is exactly what makes the jolie laid women in France. Where women who are not classically beautiful but yet have this irresistible air. It’s not based on her looks, but the feeling, the confidence. 

 

When you can embrace yourself, love yourself, and bring out the confidence you have inside of you, you will become more attractive. People will gravitate towards you because you won’t need to bring others down. You aren’t constantly thinking about what others are thinking of you, which can impede on you being you. You will be attractive because you’re an amazing woman, just as you are. 

 

Self Confidence

What are the Benefits of Confidence?

I am not going to go too much into detail here because I feel that it would be redundant. However, I do want to cement the idea that confidence is a wonderful trait to possess. 

 

The benefits of confidence that I already mentioned: 

– being more beautiful 

– demanding (gently) respect from others

– not being taken advantage of 

 

But there are many more! 

– being happier 

– feeling free

– making better friends 

– understand what your values are 

– not sweating the small stuff (read: stress less!)

– other people don’t have any power over you 

 

You might see a pattern here. 

 

When you adopt an elegant life and want to improve your confidence you will see that your life is more improved. Not only happier, but freedom. 

 

The freedom to not care what others think, that stop being stressed about everything big and small. 

 

The freedom to be yourself and love doing it. 

The best part is that you don’t need to be fully confident all in one step. Even by adapting a little confidence in your life can help to benefit the rewards. You really can start today, try implementing a little confidence right now. 

 

The benefits will be astounding. 

 

Self Confidence

Building Self Esteem Today

What to practice today, right now, to implement confidence: 

 

– Pick your absolute favorite attribute on your face. Focus on it. Make it something that everyone notices, make it your trademark. 

 

– Although this is over stated to the point of exhaustion, wear something that you love. Something that makes you proud to be yourself. 

 

– Realize that your self worth has more to do with what you offer the world – not your looks

 

– Take it one day at a time. You win some, you lose some. 

 

– Don’t overthink. 

 

– Stop trying to be Miss Perfect 

 

– Be the leading lady that you know you are

 

– Start respecting yourself by what you eat and drink

 

– Love yourself 

 

– You are ONE of a kind, truly think about that! You offer the world something no one else can!

Self Confidence

In Conclusion

Be More Confident 

 

Try every single day to be more confident. Even if you mess up completely, the next day repeat to yourself.

 

Practice it. 

 

Repeat…

“I am confident.” 

 

The best part of confidence is that you really can’t go wrong. Being confident is different for everyone. 

 

My words of advice to you is to  just stop worrying about coming off as confident, or trying so hard to make it. Just let whatever happens happen. 

 

.I know this might sound a little new age but I promise, when you stop trying hard to be something, in this case, confident, and stop caring about what others think and what the outcome will be, freedom and calmness will ensue. 

 

Something that really helped me grow my self esteem and confidence was to step out, and realize that every single person out there suffers from this, even my role models doubt themselves from time to time. 

 

No one is completely immune. 

 

We are all suffering a little bit trying to impress others or make them see this “facade”. 

 

We are all in it together. 

 

One last thing I want to mention was I don’t allow myself to be too hard on myself. 

 

There really isn’t any point and it is self destructive. 

 

Besides not being productive, it can really harm yourself if you are continually putting yourself down. It can affect you not only today, but in the future when you are trying to better yourself. 

 

What you say to yourself really matters. 

 

Living an elegant life is about seeing the best in yourself and others.

 

When you are able to see clearly that you are an amazing woman who has so much to offer the world, it is nearly impossible to hide

 

You start radiating this beautiful glow because you are one of a kind. 

 

Elegance brings out your talents.

 

Confidence breeds beauty. 

 

Be elegant. 

 

Be confident. 

Need inspiration?

Read this!

“To be happy, we must not be too concerned with others.”

Albert Camus

 

Christmas Shopping Guide [2019] – The Elegant Woman Edition – 40 GIFT IDEAS!

Christmas Shopping Guide [2019] – The Elegant Woman Edition – 40 GIFT IDEAS!

Christmas Shopping Guide 2019

Christmas can be stressful

Christmas Shopping Guide 2019

Being prepared is elegant. I’m here to help!

I will honor Christmas in my heart, and try to keep it all the year.  

Charles Dickens

…But with a Christmas shopping guide it doens’t have to be!

So here we are, it’s the beginning of the holidays! Thanksgiving is over and now we are just trucking right towards Christmas!

This is my favorite time of the year, but I am sure you already know this! However, if you’re like my husband, he gets a little anxious because of the pressure of getting the right gifts.

And I am not going to lie, he’s right.

The amount of money that gets spent each year is getting outrageous, especially if you don’t have the extra cash.

But finding the perfect gift doesn’t need to be as hard as you think!

I’ve been taking notes and wanted to make sure I made a good comprehensive list that I could assure you that these gifts will be perfect for those ones on your list!

This post contains affiliate links and if you purchase anything on these links I may receive a small compensation.

Christmas Shopping Guide 2019

For those that love self-care

 

I know that today we are all so busy, which means that we are most likely on our feet for most of the day!

This beautiful massager is a gift that I would love to get because it is heated, and provides deep kneading techniques!

I know some people who suffer from plantar fasciitis that would love this! It also can improve blood circulation which I know is always a plus!

To be honest, I don’t know one person that wouldn’t love this foot massager!

 

These masks make a great stocking stuffer! They are small, compact, but pack a big punch!

For the people that adore self-care and spa moments at home, then this is the gift for them!

I personally love getting these because they’re quick, they’re effective and they are mostly inexpensive.

 

I’m a pretty big fan of gift baskets.

They are simple, beautiful and can be really thoughtful!

This self-care basket is a perfect little gift for a teacher, for a neighbor, for a daughter, for almost anyone really!

Something perfect to go along with the self-care theme is a book exactly on self-care!

There are many books on self-care but this one is amazing because it taps into the older forms and sees them with a modern eye.

This is a perfect gift for someone who is interested in the idea of self-care and wants to continue learning about it!

Or, honestly, because so many people are into self-care, it’s a gift for really anyone!

The WOW Factor

 

I realize that this isn’t the most attractive self-care item out there. But holy cow, this is the gift that any woman or man would just love!

It fits on most chairs, I mean you could go from the living room, dining room, heck, even the car!

This gives the heat needed, it’s a Shiatsu massage that will take all the stresses of the days and melt them away!

You’ll be talk of the family with this gift! I’m even trying to hint this to my husband!

Christmas Shopping Guide 2019

For the Baking/Cooking Enthsuiasts

Honestly, how cool are these?!

I bought these and I love them! I think they are so amazing and can make whatever baked donuts I want!

They are great for almost everyone because not a lot of people have these, so it’s a great gift!

It’s something different and so lovely!

Not many people would give cooling trays as a Christmas gift, but this one is an exception!

Like many people, we are all short on counterspace and to be able to do 3-layers high is smart!

Even for those that want to display the delicious baked goods you would be able to use this as well!

A great gift to bakers because let’s be honest, can you really have too many cooling racks?

Yes, the infamous Instant Pot.

I am adding this to the list in hopes that I get one this year! I realize this isn’t quite a new product but I hear they are life changing!

I’ve heard nothing but amazing reviews on it and I feel that it’s as important as a crock pot.

This Instant Pot has many amazing features – besides cooking things super fast!

If you want an upgraded one, check this one out!

Wow.

Simple, wow! Isn’t that just so beautiful?

What I think is so great about this gift is that it’s all stainless steel, so the quality is there.

For the people who needs everything to match, this is the gift!

It’s perfect for young couples just moving out, it’s perfect for people who are just getting into cooking or baking and will need some supplies.

Essentially, it’s perfect for everyone!

This is a great complete set.

The WOW Factor

 

Do you want to completely surprise someone this year?

Then this Vitamix is the way to go!

I have one, and I honestly use it every. single. day! I know that if I would have received one, it would have rocked my world! (Because it rocks my world now!)

You really cannot go wrong with a this because it does everything an average blender would do, but way, way more!

Gift them this blender and change their kitchen forever!

Christmas Shopping Guide 2019

For the Tech Savvy

The tech savvy people really are in for a treat this year! I feel that everything all tech related is so beautiful and more reasonably priced than ever before!

I bought this for a gift for someone, and I can’t wait for it to come in!

This color is ONLY from Amazon and it’s so beautiful. But there is also a black and pink option as well.

It is such a sleek watch that will look elegant in casual, sporty, or business attire and keeps track of everything you would want!

This is a gift that is sure to please! At least I hope so because I’m so excited to give it away this Christmas!

The Chromebook!

You know, I’m ashamed to say that I used to not really like them too much, but that’s mostly because I didn’t understand them!

When I went and talked to somone about them, I understood why they are so wonderful! Plus, the later models have been getting really good!

This one is a bit on the more higher side, but they don’t need to be! I really love this one, not only because it’s more affordable, but really sleek too!

For the people that love technology, they probably want to have their whole house smart as well!

This new Amazon Echo will do exactly that and more!

What a perfect gift for people who love the technology and want to expand!

And if they already have this, you can surprise them with these smart plugs that will allow them to hook up devices to their Echo!

How cool are these?!

Sometimes I can’t believe that they finally came up with these, but it was only a matter of time.

This would make such a great gift for so many different people because everyone you don’t necessarily need to be tech savvy to use them.

There are also wireless airbuds that come with a wireless charger which makes it also a very high tech gift!

Very snappy!

And for the ones that are trying to become tech savvy, but haven’t yet got the television, this is the absolute perfect gift!

It’s very simple to connect and it works like a charm!

My husband had to buy one and it works really well! We watch Netflix, screen mirror, YouTube and Prime with ease! Plus we get many free streaming channels with it too!

 

The WOW Factor

 

This is QUITE the gift that I suppose anyone would be the happiest to receive!

Acer is a great company, I have had one for a few years and I find them to be working very well for what I need it for.

Perfect for a student, a parent, or someone that just needs a new laptop! This one is a bit pricey, but there are other ones here.

If there is a gamer that you would love to spoil, check out this wonderful one! I know someone who has a Predator and wow… it’s great! But let me warn you, it can be quite expensive!

 

Christmas Shopping Guide 2019

For Zero Waste

 

I’m not going to lie, I never quite understood these dryer balls until I heard someone explain them and how brilliant of an idea!

These can replace the dryer sheets that end up in the garbage anyways.

This is a perfect little gift for anyone with a dryer!

I had to stop using the face soap wipes because it was bothering me how much was going into the landfill, especially after a one time use.

But of course, someone thought of this and it makes a great gift. It also comes with a laundry bag to make washing them that much easier!

Perfect gift for anyone that is living a zero-waste lifestyle, someone who is interested, or really anyone who uses a toothbrush!

I bought wooden ones a while back and I can’t believe that I haven’t went wooden before!

There is really no difference, and I know that I am not putting more needless plastic in the landfill.

This makes a GREAT stocking stuffer!

It’s a matter of fact that plastic is on its way out! One way to better prepare yourself or others are these muslin produce bags.

Again, I have a few of them and I use them almost every time we go shopping. I love them. They feel great, they look great, and it’s funny because they make me feel like I’m doing something better for the environment!

You can never have too many of these bags!

 

 

I bought this book, and I still go back to it.

Personally, I really enjoyed this book because it gave me ideas, information and inspiration.

If you know someone who is on the fence, thinking about it, just starting out, or someone you want to give a hint to, this book is a great addition to their library!

If you’re looking for more books, I also have this one.

And I can’t help but include these water bottles.

This is another gift that everyone can use. Children, parents, teenagers, students… everyone!

I find that these bottles are so beautiful while also being eco-friendly and zero waste!

Christmas Shopping Guide 2019

For Teachers

 

What an adorable mug to make any teacher smile! I think these are sentimental enough but not over the top either.

It expresses gratitude without being too sappy.

Perfect!

I know that if I was a teacher, I would be buying one of these in a flash!

Especially with the cold and dry weather coming, touching chalk makes your hands so rough and dry.

This very smart little contraption will make any teacher very happy to get!

 

Want a cute laugh?

This stemless wine glass will do just that! I think this is so adorable, especially if you know the teacher a little more personally.

Like, just how cute?!

I really like this gift, because it is so different.

It’s also just so adorable and actually quite useful that won’t just end up just junk.

And really, who doesn’t have the need for post its!

There are times when gifts are something not useful, but cute or thoughtful. And sometimes there are gifts that are practical.

These stamps will get a lot of use from the teacher and it’s nice to get something really different for your teacher!

Every teacher can use these stamps with ease, and have fun doing it!

These stamps are so much fun! It will make marking tests a blast! (Maybe!)

I know I can’t be the only one that adores these printable-ish notepads?

Being organized is a wonderful feeling, and an even better gift! This beautiful notepad is sure to inspire a lot this Christmas season!

If you have to buy for a female teacher (or one that you could see interested in this), then I think this makes one of the greatest gifts.

Teachers are all used to seeing the same gifts every year. Whether it is coffee gift certificates or chocolates, this bracelet is completely different.

That’s why I think this gift will be a gift that she remembers.

Christmas Shopping Guide 2019

For Other Children

My kids are relatively young, and to be honest they very rarely play video games.

But when they do, they utterly love Minecraft. At first I didn’t understand the concept of this game, but really it’s just like legos but ones that defy gravity and you can really go crazy!

My boys love this and I think it’s not bad, there is no violence, no blood, and can be in creative mode  — so fun!

Now this game brings back memories!

It is such a simple game that anyone can play this game and really, it is so easy you can’t go wrong!

This game is perfect for family game night or even for children to play alone.

To be honest, this game is great for people of all ages because you match your card with what is on the board.

It’s simple, but so fun!

This isn’t exactly the typical kid’s toy, but my sister and I always wanted a set of these!

The amount of fun kids have with the most random items is amazing!

Let these walkie-talkies spark some imagination and play time this holiday season!

How do you feel about puzzles?

My three boys love them! I do too, but secretly I hate when they are just left because they are “still working on it”!

It’s great for learning where things go, and spatial awareness. It’s a wonderful way to bond and talk too.

Puzzles are always good old-fashioned fun!

I’ve heard so much about these that I needed to check it out for myself.

I love how every generation has their toys that they remember and look back. These Hatchimals will be one for sure!

This is a great gift for Christmas and it’s so darn adorable!

Christmas Shopping Guide 2019

For Husbands

Sometimes having something playful is the perfect gift. We are always stuck trying to find the most expensive gift to show our love, but this game could be it.

You get to play with each other, spark conversation, in this game there are cards that ask questions for both of you to answer.

This great is perfect for the newer married couples or any one who just feels like connecting more!

Are you married or dating someone who loves survival?

Or maybe he is really into hunting and wants something portable. This kit  also would be something nice to have in the trunk of your car because in instances when something happens, you might need one of these useful tools.

I know my husband would love this so I’m just putting it on this list!

Is your husband like mine, and even my dad?

They just love comfortable slippers. I have bought my husband different kinds of slippers. Some being open in the back (which is my favorite!) but he prefers ones like shoes.

Slippers are a great addition to a gift because they usually are inexpensive and very practical!

He might find this one under the tree this year!

Does your hubby have a beard or mustache?

This inexpensive beard grooming kit is a great stocking stuffer, or a gift in itself.

I don’t know about your husband, but mine just loves when he gets different oils or products for his beard.

I guess it’s because us women have the chance to get so many good smelling lotions and moisturiziers while he doesn’t.

Maybe this makes him feel special, or maybe he just likes to smell good, regardless I’m sure any man with some facial hair would love it!

Here is a little bit more pricey one for a step up.

Professional or not, every man needs a good watch in his life. There are always some occasions that wearing a beautiful watch is warranted.

It doesn’t need to be wallet-emptying either! This watch is well made, simple, sleek and isn’t too bad!

Surprise him with a watch that he can wear every day, or add to his collection! IF he already has a brown watch, try this beautiful black band.

Wow, this is for all music lovers of any sort!

It plays 8 different kinds of forms of music. Bluetooth, CD, radio, record player, and more!

We bought the step down from this one for my father-in-law, because at the time we didn’t know this one existed, and it works so nicely. At dinner times with the family we play old records and it sounds perfect!

I highly recommend this gift to anyone who loves music! Plus this retro look is adorable and can fit into almost any decor!

Christmas Shopping Guide 2019

In Conclusion

Christmas shopping can be so much fun, when you’re not completely stressed out. Sadly this is how most of our holiday seasons are because we often wait until the last minute to do things.

 

Before, I used to leave everything to the last minute and that often ended up with me going crazy and was really not elegant in any way.

 

I hope that this list inspires you to start your Christmas shopping early, get many ideas that you need, and don’t let the pressures and stress weigh on you this beautiful holiday season.

Need inspiration?

Read this!

“Our character is not defined in the good times, but in the hard times.”

Paul Brodie